How to Keep Things in Perspective

Do petty things bother and stress you? How about the bigger things? What can you do about them? Read on to find out.

Things like your child not having done homework or losing a duplicate key of your car may disturb you immensely. Keep them in a certain perspective that you will return to and handle them in the right way. Once you have done that, flow along during the day with cheerfulness at work.

How about the bigger things like your wife falling sick or the roof of your home having a bad leak? These things will have to be dealt with also. Take preliminary actions like taking your wife to the doctor or contacting a plumber to come and take a look at the roof leak. You cannot let these things ruin your whole day. You have taken action, and so rest in peace. The solutions are on the way, and you keep them in perspective, which may be easier said than done.

But try it - you may even share with a colleague at work and gradually focus on your work tasks for a good many hours and then take a leave an hour earlier to commit to your problems and make them look better for you.

The wife may be feeling better after an afternoon nap. The plumber will have looked at the leak and accordingly, he would tell you how much he would charge for fixing it. These are some of the ways to work out problems - big or small without taking in stress or pressure.

It may not always be your perspective that you have to rely on because if friends, colleagues or loved ones provide better perspectives, you are free to share those.

Your children are always clashing, arguing and fighting with each other while they are at home. Your wife suggests to buy them individual tablets and then by browsing over the web, they can be busy learning new stuff. It's her perspective but a good one that you cannot ignore in the modern day.

You will research on the web about children's tablets and if you find them at reasonable rates, yes, one of these days, you will buy them to stop and put an end to sibling rivalry.

Another instance could be an argument with your wife for using her car and for not refilling it with gas. It goes on for many days. You go grumpy to the office, and a kind colleague asks your problem. You confess to him everything. Well, your colleague helps you to understand that since you are borrowing your wife's car for errands, it is rightful of her to expect her car's gas tank to be refilled if you are the last person to use it for the day.

It is your colleague's perspective but can be an eye-opener for you. You understand how selfish you have been and would like to borrow your colleague's solution and apologize to your wife and make it a point that if you are the last person to use your wife's car for the day, you will definitely refill her gas tank. Peace prevails in the family.

Summing up, this is how you can deal with big or small matters keeping them in definite perspectives. They may be your own or shared by the good people in your life. Gotcha?

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The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

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Do What Challenges You, Not What Makes You Happy

Happiness Is A By-Product Of Improved Self-Esteem

I'd like to push you outside your comfort zone, if you are willing to take the test? OK, let us start with a question: Are you happy right now? If not, what is the cause of your unhappiness? You might not know and that's fine, but how will you recognise happiness if you cannot distinguish being unhappy? This is not about blame or judgement, but you consented to be pushed outside your comfort zone. Shall we go on? Do you make an attempt to step outside your comfort zone often? Do you challenge yourself regularly? Some people push themselves by challenging their body, through gruelling sporting endeavours. But they may experience little or no personal growth because they become thrill-seeking junkies.

If it's happiness we seek, we ought to do what challenges us, not what makes us happy. Let me explain what I mean. If we pursue happiness without personal improvement, it is likely to be short lived. However, if we pursue personal growth, then happiness is a by-product of improved self-esteem. It requires developing self-confidence and resiliency, which enhances our self-esteem. Are you with me so far? Can you see how trying to chase happiness alone is unrealistic because there is no foundation for it to last? It is similar to pursuing wild adventures, hoping each one will be better than the next. We become addicted to the thrill ride, but rarely experience lasting happiness.

Those we consider successful, whether leaders in our community or others, spend years nurturing their personal growth. They are happy because their consciousness has expanded to encompass their positive character traits. When we pursue actions that reinforce our self-worth, then happiness is likely to be long lasting. For example, think about when you graduated from university or received a job promotion. I'm certain you experienced a sense of achievement and greater self-esteem, given your dedication to your study or career. The reward becomes evident in your commitment to improve the quality of your life.

Choose What Pushes You, Not What Makes You Happy

As we enhance our personal growth, our level of happiness grows in proportion. Have you noticed those who feel unappreciated are constantly miserable or complaining about the state of the world? They feel as though life is beating down upon them, instead of assuming control of their own life. Don't become one of those people because life is not about playing victim, since we have more power than we recognise. Yes, we will make mistakes and experience failures and setbacks. Yes, challenges are sewn into the fabric of life, to enhance our self-esteem, not crush it. Therefore, we have a choice: we can choose to grow relative to our problems, or retreat into despair. But if we choose the latter, we are certain of a life filled with misery and discontent.

I'm certain you don't want to be that person? I'm sensing, if you've read this far, you value your personal growth and want to improve your life. The key, is to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity and difficulties. We must get up when we encounter defeat since we gain wisdom, fortitude and inner resilience, to overcome our challenges. For example, in my 20s, life was smooth sailing. However, in my 30s, challenges were more prominent and instead of cowering in defeat, I walked towards them with a strong conviction to grow from my experiences. I've encountered a great deal of pain, heartache and obstacles throughout my life, but I've experienced immense personal growth and hence why I am able to share this wisdom with others.

So, I invite you to choose what pushes you, not what makes you happy because you may be happy now, but miserable in the long run. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, instead of running from it, lean into it. You may find it is more than you can tolerate and that's okay. Trust that you will grow in proportion to your challenges, as long as you don't give up on yourself. Trust, you have the capacity to overcome difficult problems. Trust, you will gain sufficient growth to expand your consciousness beyond your current state. Knowing this, I'd like you to spend 15 minutes examining your current challenges. See if you can notice what they're inviting you to learn about yourself? Is it: patience, understanding, self-reliance, resiliency, courage, etc.? It is when we learn to dance with life, that the song we sing will be expressed through our setbacks and challenges.

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10 Reasons Why Honesty Is Important to Be Successful

You want the people with whom you come into contact to accurately think of you as being an honest person. Anything less is unacceptable if you want to be successful in all aspects of your life.

If you are dishonest everyone with whom you come into contact (friends, relatives, employers and others) will ignore or dismiss everything you say and do as being false and unreliable. Who can build and achieve what they want with such a character flaw? The answer is obvious.

Following is a brief list of reasons why honesty, as a character trait, is so important:

1. You would be considered untrustworthy and your chances of getting the job you want is severely limited if you are dishonest. Employers can't afford to hire people who are less than honest. Employees who are found to be deceitful are destined to be fired.

2. Many times, untruthfulness or dishonesty is unlawful. Lying could land you in jail or facing fines. The same is true when applying for a loan, reporting sales tax or supplying information for a loan.

3. Being known as a person who misrepresents the truth is a perception that is hard to reverse. Trustworthy behavior on the part of an individual is highly valued by our society.

4. Your potential to achieve success in all aspects of your life is severely limited if dishonesty is part of your character. You would limit your opportunities. Others would maintain their distance from you.

5. Being less than honest can and will be hurtful to others and cause great pain to loved ones. Your personal relationships would be either harmed or destroyed.

6. Others are inclined to describe or recommend you as a dependable individual who can be trusted when you are consistently authentic. Your words carry greater weight, as you are known to be a person who tells the truth. Your chances of advancement and credibility are enhanced.

7. Being deceitful with others naturally lowers your self-esteem and requires energy for you to maintain the false appearance of authenticity. Some people suggest that promoting falsehoods could actually be harmful to your physical and emotional health.

8. You will suffer a lack of respect from a poor reputation. Others will avoid contact with you personally and professionally.

9. Your chances of being able to improve your life (financially and socially) will be severely limited. People who are known for misrepresenting facts and being disingenuous are avoided.

10. Your bearing false witness is harmful to society in general. A misleading behavior by an individual can actually have far reaching ripple effects on society.

Any aspirations you might have are hampered by a lack of honesty.

Choosing to cultivate honesty as one of your characters traits is a necessity if you want to be successful in life. So is your reputation and emotional well being.

Many people go through life wondering why circumstances fail to break their way. Frequently it's his or her character flaw, such as lying, or limits a chance for success.

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Three Steps to Inner Growth

Inner growth is defined as many things: life lessons, wisdom, knowledge, and evolution, to name a few.

It's typically acquired as a result of life experiences, and usually those particular experiences aren't very pleasant. Humans seem to be wired to learn through pain, which I guess makes a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, if everything was hunky dorey all the time and we felt good about all aspects of our life, why would we want to take a chance on ruining all that just to learn something?

Although inner growth occurs along a path, that path is rarely steady, even, or straight. However, it almost always consists of three main steps:

1. Awareness of the issue. Typically this awareness comes as a result of an uncomfortableness you feel when something's not working for you in your life. Most often this is something that causes you emotional pain rather than physical, although it could be both.

2. Gathering information about the issue. So, what happened to cause this new awareness? What exactly isn't working for you and how isn't it working? How can it be corrected? Those are just a few of the important questions you need to ask at this step. As you delve deeper into the issue, more questions will arise, some of which may surprise you.

3. Applying the information to the issue. This is the reward. This is where you get to see how well you've learned about the subject you chose to experience. This is the feel-good part of inner growth.

Let's use an example. Say, something like you got fired from your job.

1. Awareness. Well, that's pretty obvious. You don't have a job any more.

2. Gathering information. Why did you get fired? Was it something you were or were not doing? Is it personal or universal? If it's personal, what do you need to change about how you do your work or interact with your co-workers? If it's universal, such as an economic slowdown, what do you need to do to make yourself more valuable to an employer? These questions and others like them will garner you the information you need to continue on to the next and final step.

3. Applying the information. Make a list of the answers you came up with in Step 2 and use that information to create a to-do list. Maybe some of the changes you'll make are learning better communications skills, changing your work habits, improving your personal hygiene, taking classes to add to your working knowledge.

Of course, this applies to ALL inner growth, from the mundane such as the example of losing one's job, to the esoteric, such as emotional and spiritual growth.

Breaking down the learning experience into these three steps is like eating a ton of applesauce. It's a lot easier and less stressful when you do it one small bit at a time.

Aside from the inner growth and valuable insights and information you'll acquire, another benefit for you is that as you identify the step where you are in the process, you gain the satisfying knowledge that you're making progress.

What current learning opportunity are you experiencing? What are you learning about it? Which step are you at with your learning regarding the issue?

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How to Change your Physiology to be Happy - Tony Robbins motivation

Secrets To Prosperity - Cultivate A Millionaire Mindset

 The secret to prosperity lies in how you have programmed your thoughts. When you cannot control your mind, you will just move further away from cultivating a millionaire mindset. It is the effort that you put in not only today, but in a consistent manner that will reflect your future results.

We tend to send thoughts to the Universe requesting for change and financial freedom, but we do not know how to adequately use our mind power to receive the appropriate positive messages in return.

In order to control your mind power you need to effectively do the following:

1. Control your thoughts and not be distracted by trivialities

2. Change your daily habits from negative to positive, and stick to it.

3. Only talk about positive matters, because you ultimately become what you think.

Observe what you are talking about the whole day and question whether it includes mostly positive things that give you happiness.

To become a prosperous and successful person, you need to observe and learn from successful people. Read their life history, feel like one and behave like one. You must be able to visualize your future and be able to see your future with you to as a successful person.

Can you visualize yourself as a successful businessman and a millionaire in future? Can you make yourself feel like a millionaire? You should be able to see your future and dispel the notion that we are normally fearful of our future. We far too often visualize our future in negative forms rather than that of being a millionaire.

It is being said that a vibration is created, and the wealth energy takes over when you practice visualizing yourself as a millionaire often. The actual process of you becoming a millionaire will then be accelerated. This is based on the fact that your mind attains power through your thought waves, habits, and visualization. It is possible for you to achieve whatever you want through your mind power.

The very best practice will be to control your mind in the present moment without thinking of the future or the past. This mind power can be used to achieve financial freedom and whatever else you want to target. And free yourself from unnecessary negative thoughts. The key is to practice and implement less thoughts and much more action.

Handle your mind correctly

Psychology experts have determined that your mind is actually neutral, and it depends how you use it. It is actually you as a person who cause your mind to react negatively through your unnecessary negative thoughts and negative behaviours. Under most circumstances, your mind can be your best friend, but at times and it can also be your worst enemy. This negative relationship is often caused by stress that not only brings along discomfort but other diseases as well.

You need to control your mind to avoid stress. It is normally said that diseases are caused due to either incorrect food, or a bad environment but the actual fact is that your thought waves control more than what you might think.

Clear your negative thoughts and you will get a big boost on your way to cultivating a millionaire mindset. One of the easiest ways to manage your mind will be to practice meditation and positive affirmations about being a millionaire. When you can manage your mind, it will be easier to go to the next level of prosperity.

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Finding Motivation - How to Find What Motivates You

Ever notice what motivates you? Motivation could come from many of your activities which you didn't give much thought before. In fact, it could be the answer to your limitless abundance, saying goodbye to money-related problems. This article will help you trace it and achieve it. Read on.

The source of your motivation will be ingrained in you. You jump up at the thought of it and can't wait to start it. You can't stop when you are doing it and when you are done with it, you can't help admiring it, feeling a deep sense of content and satisfaction.

Motivation could be about writing fiction/nonfiction books, music - singing and/or playing a musical instrument, painting portraits and/or natural sceneries, teaching, educating others and sharing your knowledge, playing a sport you like such as soccer, tennis or swimming, cooking a variety of dishes and compiling their recipes, and the list goes on.

Guess what earning money by doing what motivates you is a plus. You will not think of it as work and will always feel inspired to do it and enjoy your time doing it and at the end, earn good money from it.

You could even do a seminar/webinar about it reaching out to more people, helping others to find what inspires them and monetize it, earning a living as well.

You could passionately write books on them, reaching out across the globe not only gaining popularity but also helping the young and old alike to find out what it is they love to do and the steps they should carry out to make it the source of their living.

Imagine what would happen if each and every person on this earth were doing what they were excited about and also earning money from it - naturally the global economy would rise and no one had to leave jobs or get laid off unless because of other circumstantial problems, which could be worked out as well.

Doing the very stuff you love to do and also making a living from it will gradually help you to tap into limitless abundance and prosperity, and you will never have to worry about money problems again.

So the next time, when you are thinking about a career or business, put your creative mind at play, try to figure out what makes you jump up at the thought of doing something, then start doing it and step-by-step monetize it as well so that you never have to work another day again. Sounds good?

Rosina S Khan has authored this article. For a wealth of free resources based on stunning fiction stories and academic guides, amazing self-help eBooks, articles and blogs, all authored by her, and much more, visit: https://rosinaskhan.weebly.com. You will be glad that you did.

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Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix | Tasha Eurich | TEDxMileHigh

Four Steps to Success

In my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, "I want to be happy!" We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that Your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are than your genes do; because I've watched so many people figure out how to meet their goals and create their own happiness. You can improve any part of your life you wish: your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, your work life, your home life, and even your health. The following steps will help you reach any goal you set for yourself.

Four Steps to Success

(1) Choose the goal.

(2) Break it down into small, non-intimidating steps.

(3) Do something. (If you can't get yourself to do it, you haven't made the steps small or easy enough-go back to step 2.)

(4) Celebrate what you've done (yes, every little step).

For example, suppose you're interested in bringing more physical activity and music into your life, and choose a folk-dancing class. Break the goal down into manageable steps: (1) Call around to find out what classes are available; (2) choose a class to attend; (3) enroll in the class; (4) go to the first class meeting; (5) evaluate the class as to whether it's a good one for your purposes.

Those steps may seem simplistic, but that's the idea. Make it as easy as possible to do each step. That way you won't be discouraged by "I can't" before you start.

Breaking your goal down into the smallest possible steps makes it easier to accomplish the next phase: Do something. Many of us know how to set goals, but not how to achieve them, so we've "proved" to ourselves over and over that we're failures. That's not true at all. The failure lies in not having completed the rest of the Four Steps to Success.

You've just made the third step to your goal as simple as possible, so there are no reasons not to take it. Go ahead, and focus on the third step only: Do something.

After you've taken the third step, celebrate. Recognition of what you've accomplished is important. It also helps to celebrate each step you take toward your goal as you take it. This way you won't run out of energy before you achieve success, and you'll keep encouraging yourself as you proceed.

Your celebration can be just looking into your mirror and saying, "Congratulations, you've just made the first (second, third) step toward achieving your goal" Or your celebration can be more elaborate, such as toasting your accomplishment with a friend or two. It can even be a major party. The important thing is that you do something to make sure you notice you've had some success, however small. It is this celebration that will give you the courage and confidence to go on all the way in achieving your goal.

As you achieve your goal, go back to the Four Steps and choose a new goal; then follow the steps through again. Repeat this until you've created or achieved what you want.



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Becoming An Exceptional Human Being

Of all the goals and aspirations in life, having achieved a great variety of extraordinary experiences myself, I have determined that there is no better goal for ones life than to become an exceptional human being.

Exceptional means in all aspects of life, the three main ones being Financial, Relationships, and Self-esteem.

The material aspect covers finances and simply taking care of having all ones needs met to whatever level of luxury one desires. Relationships is not only marriage, but family, friends, co-workers etc. And third, perhaps the most important as it is the foundation of the other two, is ones relationship with oneself. A healthy self-esteem, which comes from a deep sense of knowing you are worthy of your own existence and place in the world.

My belief about the reason we exist, why be a human on this planet, is a rather long and more complex topic, but is simply explained with the analogy of a caterpillar.

A caterpillar has no choice but to become a butterfly, because it is ruled entirely by nature and instinct. Humans are 'designed' to also go through a metamorphosis, which is, according to my theory, the reason for our existence.

As the caterpillar is no longer recognizable in the butterfly, so is a selfish, arrogant, nasty, nervous, insecure person no longer recognizable if they transform into a humble, generous, kind, calm, balanced and selfless person.

The difference between humans and caterpillars is simply the one thing that sets humans apart from every other creature on this planet, which is that we have freedom of choice, at least to a degree. We can choose our actions, and if we cannot because of our emotional imbalances, we can choose to correct that imbalance and then be able to choose our behaviour.

I have now traveled in 86 countries, and studied humans from that many cultures only to find that despite the differences between adults with their opinions and cultural tendencies, we are all identical when we are children.

In every country, religion, culture and social class, wealth or poverty, a child is identical in its movements, interests, reactions and process of learning as it grows up.

Water is water and only changes depending on what is added to it, sugar, syrup, flavour, salt, pepper herbs etc. A human is born water and then their parents and cultural situation adds the flavouring that labels them into the adult they become.

Our work is to evaporate the water so it returns to purity and then choose by our own will what 'flavouring' we will add, if any. This is the reason for our existence, and the only purpose in life that I have found to be truly satisfying and never fades in its power to make life worthwhile.

The gift of freedom of choice that humans have over all other features is in fact also a curse. We have the choice to transform or to remain the same until we die, it is each persons individual choice. You can choose to stay a caterpillar and crawl through your life, or you can withdraw from your current life situation, and transform yourself, then emerge as something far more beautiful and free.

My life has been devoted to finding the ways to make this transformation. I have pursued great financial success as well as the monastic life. I have studied many spiritual traditions, and found all to be lacking as they no longer fit in the modern world. However, their essential principles remain the same.

Ethicalism.org gives the foundation of building a strong self-esteem, and from that, financial and worldly success, as well as making yourself into as good a partner as anyone can hope to have to share their life with. This is one way I am offering to achieve this, which one can take as far or as little as they choose towards their transformation.

It will take time to evaporate your fixed opinions and the limiting attitudes of your culture, but it can be done in a way that allows you to choose what to keep and what to let go of. If this concept resonates with you, Ethicalism.org is a start, and I am always happy to respond to any questions anyone may have to take the work further.

I will go into the process of 'evaporation' in Part 2

Ethicalism is simply a collection of ethics and practical exercises to help apply them in our life. In conducting ourselves such that we will live a satisfying and purposeful life, we strengthen our individuality and self-esteem, while opening up to deeper connections with ourself and others.

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When Will I Learn From My Mistakes

"I never learn from my mistakes." A sad truth that this article will explain why we continually make the same mistakes again and again.

We actually do learn from our mistakes, but we learn bad habits. In every event, we are accumulating knowledge of a process; action, reaction and a result. This is exactly the same thing that we have been doing since we where born. An action leads to a reaction which leads to a result and the whole process gets stored in memory. When a similar action happens again, we automatically search our memory for an appropriate reaction that we think we should have, based on a previous event. This will produce a result and that result will be stored in memory.

The problem is that all we are doing is accumulating information as to if something happens, how did I react and what was the result. It does not teach us how to react to get a different result.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

If I ask you how much is 2 plus 2, you do not go through the mechanical process of counting one and one and one and one and get four. No, you think very quickly 2 plus 2 is 4, because you already know that answer. This is a very useful ability to save time and is good in many situations, but not in finding Love and learning from past relationship mistakes.

In order to find that perfect relationship that will last without fights and pain, we must learn the reason why we make these mistakes.

Our problem lies in desire. We desire certain things, which means we require a certain outcome to all situations. It is extremely rare for us to meet a new person and be completely open to it turning out how it will, how destiny or circumstance will determine, rather than how you want it to be.

In our relationships, we often have arguments and get angry with another person because even though Jack told Jill his situation, Jill did not want to hear it because it did not fit in with her desires. This is the cause of most conflicts, most fights, most disagreements.

You where given information either verbally or subtly, with hints that your intuition was capable of interpreting and preparing for if you were in a completely objective state and listening to what the other person was really trying to say. But you did not hear it because it did not fit with your plans. Often a person cannot properly formulate or verbalize their thoughts, but if you are attentive and open enough, you can see what they are trying to express. Sometimes they just do not have the courage to say it.

This applies very well to new relationships when fear of being alone enters. How many characteristics do we close our eyes to when meeting a new person because we want the relationship to work out for any number of reasons.

If you close your eyes and go into a room, you have no right to curse the furniture when you stub your toe. Even moving the furniture around is no help because the next time you enter the room, if you still close your eyes, you will hit the furniture again. The fault is not in the furniture, the room or the lack of light, these are all parts of the mind.

We repeat our mistakes and never learn because we do not know the correct way to react to a situation. Every situation is different. It would be impossible for anyone to learn the right reaction to every possible event. If anyone gives you a guide or list of; 'if this happens, then do that', is preparing you for disaster.

What if it is a bomb disposal instruction said; "cut the blue wire before the red", but the guy who made the bomb mixed up the wires?

Rather, the solution lies in developing a completely objective mind that is open without placing its desires in your own thoughts so loudly that it drowns out common sense and to your ability to interpret the clear signs.

Once you have developed the ability to be objective and allow all things to happen freely, you will not need to control things, or to try and alter things to your desires. You will have developed an ability to be prepared for all events before they happen because, along with being objective, that ability brings flexibility and adaptability so you will be able to adapt to all situations with complete equanimity.

You will no longer need to force things against their nature, because that is only a temporary change. Eventually nature will take its own course, and that is the moment that it slaps you in the face.

In this way you will be able to adapt to all situations, prepare in advance for most difficulties and events and you will be right in the perfect spot to gain the most benefit and live with the most ease through all situations and, finally, you will have learnt from your mistakes. Not the event, but the manner of dealing with the events in your own mind.

EXERCISE

To become objective you must realize and accept how very subjective you are, then change it. The solution to every problem can be found in accepting the objective reality of the situation. That is all. Once you have that, you will have attained equanimity and can be the master of your own heart and mind which means, you will no longer have fear of opening your heart and feeling the love we all desire.

Stop putting your desires, ideas and concepts on other people. Listen to them instead.

After decades of helping people resolve their relationship issues, both in current and past relationships, and helping people find that new and lasting love, David Samuel is now available to world, on line, to share his wisdom and experiences https://relationshipcoachonline.com/


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10 Benefits of Knowing Your Purpose

"To love what you do and feel that it matters-how could anything be more fun?" ~ Katharine Graham

What is so important about having a purpose in life? Increasingly, people are looking for something more than just "making a living." They're realizing that there seems to be something missing in their lives and they're experiencing an inner sense of dissatisfaction. Many outwardly successful people describe feeling "off-track" in some way or a sense of being incomplete. That missing something is a sense of purpose.
Without purpose, we may drift through life directionless and unfulfilled. According to business psychologist and psychotherapist Douglas La Bier, "The consequences of not finding your purpose include chronic, lingering dissatisfaction; an absence of inner peace and a sense of not being fully in sync with your inner self."

Here are some of the benefits of connecting with and pursuing your purpose:

1. It gives you control over your own direction in life. You stop following the "shoulds" of family and society and set your own course for what you want to do with your life.

2. You're more likely to have a healthier outlook on life and be more resistant to stress.

3. You have more focus in life, making choices based on what's meaningful to you.

4. You have a greater sense of inner peace and satisfaction as you align with what you were "made for."

5. You live more in the flow of life, rather than in struggle. This isn't to say there aren't challenges but when you have a sense of meaning and purpose the challenges don't seem as large and you get through them more quickly and easily. You're better able to handle the ups and downs of life. *

6. You enjoy more satisfying relationships. A 2009 study of over 1,000 adults found that those with a high sense of meaning in their lives spent more time and attention on their loved ones and communities. They were more engaged with their families, neighbors and colleagues.

7. It redefines what success means to you. It's not about climbing the corporate ladder, a particular title or how much money you make. This isn't to say you can't make good money. When you're doing what you love you are actually more aligned to everything you want, including financial abundance. It simply means that the usual markers of success in our society are not as important as the inner satisfaction of how you're spending your time. Success is defined by what brings you joy.

8. You'll love knowing what you're doing is making a contribution to the larger whole. When you're "on purpose" you'll be doing what you love and utilizing your talents in a way that adds more positive energy to the world. Serving more than your own self-interest connects you to your higher self. It opens your heart and summons your spirit.

9. Your overall happiness increases and you have more of a zest for life!

10. Having a sense of purpose can help you live longer! **

If you've connected with your purpose, congratulations! You're already reaping the rewards of "doing what you love and feeling that it matters." Whatever it is that you've found, if it is your passion and has meaning for you, it does matter.

If you're still wondering what your purpose is, I encourage you to explore the possibilities. What do you love to do? What talents and skills do you enjoy using? You may want to enlist the help of a coach to go deeper. The world is waiting for your unique gifts!

* From Ed Diener's research on the science of wellbeing.

** From researcher Patrick Hill of Carleton University, Canada. Published in "Psychological Science," a journal of the Association for Psychological Science

Estra Roell is a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, certified Life Purpose Coach, Advanced PSYCH-K® facilitator and Happiness Generator Facilitator. Estra helps clients get in touch with their passions and purpose and assists them to uncover and remove any blockages or old patterns that may be holding them back from living a life of joy, purpose and abundance. Estra is also a co-author of the books "101 Great Ways to Enhance Your Career" and "How to Create a Rich, Successful and Fulfilling Life." She's the author of the e-book, "4 Keys to Living Your Life Purpose."

Visit her website at http://www.americaslifepurposecoach.com/ to receive her free report on "Visioning Your Purpose and Heading Toward it Today." Sign up for a free "Life Purpose Strategy Session" at http://www.americaslifepurposecoach.com/strategy-session.

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Your Focus Keeps You On Track and Amps Up Your Productivity

Your focus and effectiveness are inextricably linked.

Indeed, time management tips, no matter how well-grounded they may be, are only as effective as your capacity to focus and follow-through.

So, your focus is a powerful productivity tool.

But that's not all. Your focus actually helps you restore your energy and free your creativity, too.

Staying on Track
In our information-saturated world, you can practically hear the battle being waged for your attention as an incessant buzzing in your head. Concentration can be difficult to come by, let alone sustain. Yet your focus is one of the most remarkable inherent strengths you can ever develop.

So, would you like some support around staying on task and on track? Read on...

Your focus is about you...
It is really all about your quality of relationship with yourself. Whenever you need the motivation to calm your mind and concentrate, recall these three key advantages you will always gain when you focus:

Whatever you are doing is enhanced.
You are more present in your life.
No time is required; there is always enough time to sharpen your focus.
This is about quality, not quantity. When you are centered you are bringing yourself fully to each of your moments and getting the most from what your moments hold. An hour is still an hour, whether you are present to it or not - but the content of that hour is essentially different when you are engaged as your fully attentive self.
What can your focus do?
So, let's deepen our appreciation of what this powerful and transformative time tool brings us by looking more specifically at what your focus can do for you. It can:

Transform Your Relationship With Time. Your anxieties about the future melt away because you fully inhabit the moment you are in. This is the rich experience of centuries of meditation practice, worldwide. You can trust it. When you are in the flow of the present moment, you experience the power that is always yours. You direct your inner relation-ship, with the rudder and sail in your hands. You attune yourself to life's winds and waves, and feel fully alive as you steer with increasing skill! The feeling of inner safety that comes when you fully occupy the moment cannot be matched.
Free You From Time-Consuming Past Scripts. Each of us carries stories from our past, created when we had limited understanding. Formulas we once thought kept us safe may now simply slow us down. So, how can you gain the perspective to step clear from old time traps? The ability to silence inner chatter and closely observe what surrounds you is an essential first step. As the Zen master instructs the student: "Attention... Attention... Attention... "
But that's not all...
Clarify Your Perceptions and Enhance Your Productivity. The less distracted you are, the more energy you direct to your task. Watch your effectiveness grow. The next time you start to feel scattered, breathe from your belly and warmly tell yourself that you can do one thing well. What about those urgent imperatives that vie for your attention? Write down whatever is distracting you. Promise yourself that when your task is completed, you can attend to that matter.
Increase Your Confidence. Nothing can match the feeling you give yourself by letting yourself experience the centered, relaxed, receptive self-intimacy that focused activity brings. By exercising positive control over your mind and your time, you immerse yourself in the flow of the present moment. Confidence grows organically when you direct your best energies to the task at hand.
And there's more...
Nurture Your Creativity. Do you question how creative you can be? As you cultivate your focus, new avenues of inner communication open up to you. Only when you silence the chattering that surrounds you can your wise and quiet voice of intuition be heard. Experiment with simply focusing within, on the effortless rising and falling of your breath. Let thoughts bubble up, and see which ones catch the light.
Continually Develop Your Skills. As you let yourself experience the satisfaction of being fully in the moment, you become less and less vulnerable to the nagging illusion that there is something outside of yourself that you 'need.' This encourages a rising spiral of self-reference, enabling you to direct your energy ever more skillfully.
In the end, focus, which takes no time, will actually give you time because it increases your power, satisfaction, confidence, and productivity. It allows you to pour your best energies into what you do right now, and watch them multiply.
So how will you start putting yourself in a position to find more success and satisfaction, beginning with this very moment?

You'll find expert guidance quickly with our free Finding Time Success Kit, so check out our video at https://thetimefinder.com/ and then sign up for your Kit!

You'll receive our Finding Time Boundary Template, our popular Weekly Tips, and our monthly, award-winning E-zine -- all free and all right to your in-box!

For even more time tips, tools and techniques, visit our blog at https://thetimefinder.com/blog/

Offered by Paula Eder, Ph.D. The Time Finder Expert


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Lisa Nichols on Rescuing Yourself, Overcoming Fear, and Finding Success By Serving Others

How To Live Your Full Potential Every Day

Many people, who seek assistance to improve their lives reveal fear is one of the most prominent reason. Fear oftentimes leads to regrets. In fact, regrets can be carried from previous incarnations along with other feelings that weren't resolved.

Regret is the final hurdle that people need to resolve after fear. Transforming or Transmuting any regrets will bring a new perspective, including regrets from previous incarnations.

Even when I've helped people to get past the fear, there were some who still didn't live the life they deserve. The reason is they're living in regret about something either in this incarnation or previous incarnations.

"Shoulda done this sooner."

"Woulda done this differently."

"Coulda done this better."

What are your shoulda, woulda, coulda regrets?

When you hear those words in your head or you say them out loud, you're living in regret. Dwelling in it means you are holding yourself back from the brightness in your life that wants to shine through.

It's like closing the blinds on the beautiful sunshine, while you lament missing today's sunrise.

Regret keeps you living in the past. It stops you from standing in your full power at the moment.

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. You have the power to make new choices. And you deserve to have all the opportunities those new choices will bring.

When you find yourself living in regret, recognize it as an opportunity to take action and make a different decision, so that the next moment brings you closer to the health, wealth and opportunities you desire and deserve.

Three tips to eliminate the shoulda, woulda, coulda:

Ask yourself if this is reality or an emotional response. Both are equally valid and important to access. If it's reality, examine the situation and consider each step you took on the path that brought you to this regret. How can you avoid taking the same steps in the future? If it's emotional, dig in and figure out which emotions are being triggered and how they are impacting you.

Ask someone to help you find a new perspective. When you are in the middle of a tough situation, particularly an emotional one, it's difficult to see other options. Napoleon Hill said, "Out of every adversity comes a seed of equal or greater benefit." When you're standing in front of a tree with your nose against the bark, you can't see anything else. If you have someone who can pull you back, only a little bit, a new perspective will reveal a whole forest of possibilities.

Take action. Once you have uncovered your regret, how you got there and what's driving the emotion that's causing you pain; and you have a new perspective that allows you to make a new choice in your life; it's time to take action. What steps can you take to turn the adversity of regret into your seed of greater benefit? Outline your steps and then take that first one!

When you take the steps above to turn your regret into positive action, you will start living a bigger and bolder life. That means you will face change, which can be uncomfortable for a while. However, in the final analysis it is well worth the effort.

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life.

Are you willing to take the steps required to claim your happiness, success, fulfillment, and empowerment? Will you take advantage of the opportunity to create a new reality for your life?

It's time to SHIFT and get prepared for what's coming up for your life... so I want you to put your heart and soul into paying close attention to how much mental, emotional and physical pain you are in. Then, step by step you can make the transformation gently, easily, and without having to deal with the mental and emotional pain and stress of not knowing what to do, not feeling your best, and all the other OLD WAYS that are holding you back. You might need to ask for assistance to clear out the self-doubt, fear, guilt, shame or unworthiness.

This is an investment in your health, happiness, success, fulfillment, and empowerment. Following the principles in this process will change your life forever and I want you to experience it yourself as soon as possible. Remember only you can take care of your happiness and mental, emotional, physical health and professional success.

You can do it! Call me if you need assistance to transmute any symptoms no matter how dire, how long you have struggled or other things you have done.

Henry Ford, who created the Model T automobile in 1908 and went on to develop the assembly line mode of production, which revolutionized the automotive industry stated, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't you are right."

For your convenience, I offer a 20-minute *FREE* no-obligation phone conversation to answer your questions and discuss how you can discover and create personal and professional success. And you will receive value in the 20-minute conversation.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician - Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author, and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net



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How to Reignite Your Life

How To Remain Motivated Despite Uncertainties

Uncertainty puts my motivation and confidence at risk. The absence of prescience is one of the most widely recognized antecedents of disappointment. Since I knew the issues that might emerge, I was in an incredible situation to get ready for these difficulties and stay away from them by and large.

It's your chance to be proactive. Make an extensive rundown of activity steps you will follow to maintain a strategic distance from potential issues later on, and leave time in your calendar to execute these activity steps. Look for outside assistance when you need it.

Being readied won't just limit your odds of disappointment, yet will spur you to continue endeavoring to accomplish what you want. What might you do if things turned out badly? Try not to concentrate on the undesirable outcomes. Rather, place your consideration of options that would, at last, additionally lead to satisfaction and fulfillment. Remember the ultimate objective is to keep a receptive outlook.

This is an incredible exercise that will temper your sentiment of uncertainty. You will have a sense of security and empowered. You'll realize that a deviation from your original plan isn't a disappointment at all. Rather, it's a chance to investigate an entirely different plan of conceivable outcomes.

Recollect that you have learned and developed as an individual due to life's unlimited surprises. A portion of those shocks will be lovely, and some won't. At last, you are who you are today because of your life experiences. In other words, certainty is a fantasy. This is a significant acknowledgment that will assist you with taking a gander at the future unafraid. Achievement is going from disappointments to disappointments without losing enthusiasm.

In spite of this emphasis on our hankering for conviction, uncertainty has untold force when persuading individuals. Vulnerability about positive results gives us sentiments of energy and delight. We're progressively propelled to arrive at objectives when the prize is dubious than when it's sure. It's even the situation if the dubious prize is more terrible than the specific one!

Vulnerability is awkward for everybody. Regardless of whether it's political unrest or a rearrangement at your organization, workers who are worried about their future are probably going to be When you structure desires, you're setting yourself up for disillusionment. You can direct your tomorrow, yet you can't control the specific result. In the event that you anticipate the most noticeably terrible, you'll likely feel too negative and shut disapproved to see and take advantage of lucky breaks. When you anticipate the best, you'll make a dream that is difficult to satisfy.

Rather than anticipating that the future should give you something explicit, focus around what you'll do to make what you need to experience.distracted and ineffective. The greater part of us feel overpowered, upset, and restless when confronted with uncertainty.

Vulnerability is the main sureness there is, and realizing how to live with instability is the main security. In any event, when you think you've twisted into a comfortable casing of consistency, anything could change instantly. The main steady in life is that it will include change, and attempt as you may to control the future, now and then everything you can do is believe that whatever occurs, you can adjust and make its best.

At the point when form expectations, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. You can manage your tomorrow, however you can't control the specific outcome.
When you anticipate the worst, you'll likely feel too negative and close-minded to see and take advantage of lucky breaks. In the event that you anticipate the best, you'll make a dream that is difficult to satisfy. Rather than anticipating that the future should give you something explicit, focus around what you'll do to make what you need to experience.

The most troublesome piece of vulnerability is the failure to plan and feel in charge. All things considered, it isn't the vulnerability that annoys me; it's my inclination to lose all sense of direction in my sentiments about it. Get certain about your adaptability and sustainability skills. It's increasingly about guaranteeing yourself that you can deal with any trouble that may come.

Use stress reduction methods preemptively. If you're managing vulnerability, you most likely have worry in your body, regardless of whether it's not at the bleeding edge of your musings right now. After some time, that body pressure influences pulse, glucose, muscle strain, cholesterol level, breathing rate, and each organ in your body.

Concentrate on what you can control.Oftentimes, we ignore the seemingly insignificant details we can do to make life simpler while fixating on the large things we can't do. Practice care. At the point when you fixate on a tomorrow you can't control, you're too bustling judging what hasn't occurred at this point to completely encounter what's going on the present moment. Rather than seeing and valuing the excellence at the time, you get caught in a dread driven idea cycle about the potential for inconvenience down the line.

While reflection is the most ideal approach, it isn't the main methodology. If at any time you think you've made a controllable, unsurprising life for yourself, it's just a hallucination. Nothing stays the same forever.

Uncertainty can keep you up all evening, fixating on approaches to shield yourself from anything that may turn out badly. But then again, it might inspire you to acknowledge, live at the moment, and grasp the experience of living.

What's coming tomorrow probably won't be simple. What's certain is that it will come and when it arrives, you'll react to it, gain from it, and move into another tomorrow brimming with unlimited prospects.



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The Next Chapter Of Your Life Begins With The One You're Living Now

Something Of Benefit Also Comes With Its Problems

Are you always looking to the next chapter of your life because you're fed up with the one you're living now? You wouldn't be the only one since many people wait for things to improve because they are dissatisfied with the way things are. But how much of it is perception? Do things actually improve when life gets better? For example, those who win the lottery are worse off five to seven years later, according to statistics. Most of them squander their winnings and are in more debt than before they won the lottery. But how can this be? How can winning a large sum of money lead a person to be worse off than before? Financial experts believe they lack the financial skills to manage large sums of money and they spend frivolously because they are certain the money will not run out.

We may experience something similar if we believe getting what we want will make us happier. For instance, the two main problems people often face in coaching relate to finances and relationships. People are convinced when they have more money or a loving partner, their problems will vanish. Is this something you believe? I know I have. I wasn't aware that getting what I want also means getting what I don't want. What do I mean? There are two sides to a coin, meaning that something of benefit also comes with its problems. The key is to find balance and harmony in what we want and not over-complicate matters.

Therefore, attracting more money means having to give up something in order to earn it or learning to manage money more effectively. Similarly, having a fulfilling relationship has its downsides (which is favourable if you consider what you gain). That is, we must invest our time and energy to cultivate the relationship, otherwise our partner might not stay around for long. That is to say, when we are looking for a relationship, we are heavily invested in the process but we don't realise how much time and energy is required to sustain it. This is a desirable quality because anything worth building requires two people to invest their time and energy to create a strong foundation. Some people are not aware of what it requires to maintain and build a relationship and so they stop contributing to it at some point. They divest their energy and the relationship falls apart. I once heard a relationship counsellor suggest that people stay parked in relationships which is why it eventually ends.

Be Invested In The Life You Have Now

If we wish for the next chapter of our life to arrive, we must be aware of the problems that go with it. If we are not ready for what life will bring, we will lose what we gain. That is why the title of this article reads: The Next Chapter Of Your Life Begins With The One You're Living Now. What am I referring to? The life you're living now is the one you created, whether consciously or unconsciously. You attracted the conditions and even though it may be full of challenges and setbacks, there may be a reason for it. So wishing away the pain and disappointment means wishing away the personal growth that accompanies it. Some might say: "Tony, why would I want to attract health problems and a lack of money?" I don't know your particular situation but it is my experience people attract their life's conditions on an unconscious level because they haven't transformed their limiting beliefs with what they want. Does this make sense, insofar as your inner conflicts will make themselves visible in your reality until you reconcile them?

For example, if you unconsciously hold limiting beliefs of your unworthiness to attract a loving relationship, no matter how many dating sites you sign up to, you are bound to experience disappointment. I'm not suggesting everyone on dating sites will experience pain and heartache. There are many thousands of people who find a devoted partner every day because they are ready for it and have done the work to transform their limiting beliefs. Pain and disappointment can highlight areas of our life we must devote our attention to. It requires self-examination on why we are attracting those circumstances. For instance, a person with poor financial skills might attract unwanted financial conditions until they honour their self-worth. Perhaps they were brought up with a tough parent who criticised them. They may have adopted this belief which now shows up through their finances.

So what I'm trying to say is: until we recognise what is stopping us from attaining what we want, we will continue to attract undesirable conditions. We can change strategies and enlist the help of coaches, guides and mentors and some of it may work. However, if we are not committed to our personal growth, we will go back to our old ways eventually. It requires being invested in the life we have now. Your problems and challenges are the keys to your redemption. As the aphorism states: "The obstacle is the way." It is showing the exit off the freeway so you may experience better living conditions. But the price you must pay is doing the work to remove any unconscious impediments that stand in your way. With this in mind, I'd like you to give some thought to areas of your life where you feel held back. Write in your journal or diary how you may be unconsciously sabotaging yourself. What is the trade-off? What do you get by living these unconscious beliefs? Perhaps you prefer to remain safe in your comfort zone? Every belief serves a purpose, even ones that limit our potential. Ultimately, if we are constantly expecting the next chapter of our life to arrive without living the one we have now, we will attract situations that are not for our highest good.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!


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How to Overcome Fear