Do What Challenges You, Not What Makes You Happy

Happiness Is A By-Product Of Improved Self-Esteem

I'd like to push you outside your comfort zone, if you are willing to take the test? OK, let us start with a question: Are you happy right now? If not, what is the cause of your unhappiness? You might not know and that's fine, but how will you recognise happiness if you cannot distinguish being unhappy? This is not about blame or judgement, but you consented to be pushed outside your comfort zone. Shall we go on? Do you make an attempt to step outside your comfort zone often? Do you challenge yourself regularly? Some people push themselves by challenging their body, through gruelling sporting endeavours. But they may experience little or no personal growth because they become thrill-seeking junkies.

If it's happiness we seek, we ought to do what challenges us, not what makes us happy. Let me explain what I mean. If we pursue happiness without personal improvement, it is likely to be short lived. However, if we pursue personal growth, then happiness is a by-product of improved self-esteem. It requires developing self-confidence and resiliency, which enhances our self-esteem. Are you with me so far? Can you see how trying to chase happiness alone is unrealistic because there is no foundation for it to last? It is similar to pursuing wild adventures, hoping each one will be better than the next. We become addicted to the thrill ride, but rarely experience lasting happiness.

Those we consider successful, whether leaders in our community or others, spend years nurturing their personal growth. They are happy because their consciousness has expanded to encompass their positive character traits. When we pursue actions that reinforce our self-worth, then happiness is likely to be long lasting. For example, think about when you graduated from university or received a job promotion. I'm certain you experienced a sense of achievement and greater self-esteem, given your dedication to your study or career. The reward becomes evident in your commitment to improve the quality of your life.

Choose What Pushes You, Not What Makes You Happy

As we enhance our personal growth, our level of happiness grows in proportion. Have you noticed those who feel unappreciated are constantly miserable or complaining about the state of the world? They feel as though life is beating down upon them, instead of assuming control of their own life. Don't become one of those people because life is not about playing victim, since we have more power than we recognise. Yes, we will make mistakes and experience failures and setbacks. Yes, challenges are sewn into the fabric of life, to enhance our self-esteem, not crush it. Therefore, we have a choice: we can choose to grow relative to our problems, or retreat into despair. But if we choose the latter, we are certain of a life filled with misery and discontent.

I'm certain you don't want to be that person? I'm sensing, if you've read this far, you value your personal growth and want to improve your life. The key, is to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity and difficulties. We must get up when we encounter defeat since we gain wisdom, fortitude and inner resilience, to overcome our challenges. For example, in my 20s, life was smooth sailing. However, in my 30s, challenges were more prominent and instead of cowering in defeat, I walked towards them with a strong conviction to grow from my experiences. I've encountered a great deal of pain, heartache and obstacles throughout my life, but I've experienced immense personal growth and hence why I am able to share this wisdom with others.

So, I invite you to choose what pushes you, not what makes you happy because you may be happy now, but miserable in the long run. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, instead of running from it, lean into it. You may find it is more than you can tolerate and that's okay. Trust that you will grow in proportion to your challenges, as long as you don't give up on yourself. Trust, you have the capacity to overcome difficult problems. Trust, you will gain sufficient growth to expand your consciousness beyond your current state. Knowing this, I'd like you to spend 15 minutes examining your current challenges. See if you can notice what they're inviting you to learn about yourself? Is it: patience, understanding, self-reliance, resiliency, courage, etc.? It is when we learn to dance with life, that the song we sing will be expressed through our setbacks and challenges.

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The Most Important of All Human Qualities Is a Sense of Hope

 It's interesting to observe that some people fray under the pressure of experience, but eventually learn they're called to mend their life along the way, whereas for others this experience is not liberating. Like Humpty Dumpty, they have a great fall and apparently are unable to learn new things or to unlearn old ones. Consequently, to be a human being is, one wonders, to find the nectar available to us in our own journey. But lots of people pretend that they already know everything they need to know.

It is really incredible that in this day and age human beings remain as foolish as ever they were. Meanwhile, let's remember that the apostle Paul warned us, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Rm. 12:2). He thought about our interior life. I do believe that the most important task in our lives is to make connections, that is, to make relations. Would there be another way to learn?

We live in a materialistic society and are trained from our earliest days to be acquisitive. No doubt, this materialistic outlook has seriously influenced our education. The other day, someone told me with sadness, "the only thing people are interested in today is earning more money." It seems that Mammon is worshipped as never before.

We have the task to live a good life without excuses. Although the moral implication of the attitudes of modern man is daunting, this should not dilute, or block, our search for companions for our journey. It is we who are responsible after all. So, it's foolish to blame others for our failures. The most important of all human qualities is a sense of hope. A sense of hope may take various forms, but the effect is always the same. It's only natural for healthy beings to look forward to something better.

Do you remember the Lilliputians and their neighbors attack each other because they couldn't agree which end to break an egg? Maybe aren't we all living like that? This is one of the chief functions of satire and irony. They enable us to see that many of our actions are comic or absurd. We are always reminded by good mentors that a happy and fulfilling life is not really far removed from ourselves.

The sense of hope must be single out as man's most important quality because it is associated with life itself. There's no future for human beings without hope.

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Why Those Who Are Most Responsive To Change, Will Always Thrive

Go With The Natural Flow Of Events

What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change of circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Is it something you're missing out on, such as being in contact with loved ones, a friend, work colleagues or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear or something else? How are you responding to them?

I realise I'm asking a lot of questions but it's important we understand what is the cause of our emotions. Now, granted, you might say I'm angry and frustrated being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn't be wrong to feel this way, however what is the fundamental reason behind it? You see, the emotions you're experiencing may not only be attributed to separation. There could be something deeper beneath the surface that warrants your investigation. It is my experience, working with individuals over the years, that those who are most responsive to change always thrive.

These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace what life throws at them. It doesn't mean they like what is happening. And I'm not suggesting you like what is taking place either because that would be remiss of me. What I am inviting you to do, is accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of it. Is this something you're willing to give your attention to? Could you entertain the idea that you needn't like your current circumstances but stop resisting it?

Resistance is futile because ultimately reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life ought to meet our expectations of how things should unfold? Life is a self-sustaining system, operating with its own natural laws. We must learn to abide by them because we are a drop in an ocean of a vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes, what we initially experience is chaos expanding to create order. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and go with the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being grateful. It's the idea of looking for hidden gems contained within unexpected events.

Life Is Not Personal

Assuredly, what we give our attention to becomes our focal point. So, if you direct your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and call it into your experience. But this comes at a cost to your well-being, which is paramount to your mental and physical health. Responding to change affirmatively means that even though circumstances are not as we like them to be, we can turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the silver lining in every experience, even if we have to look hard, there will always be a positive lesson.

Listen, life is unfair. When we were protected by our parents or guardians as youngsters, we may have assumed life was fair. But we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read that again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of life's ecosystem and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.

So, back to my earlier questions about what you're resisting right now. How can you take that experience and find a hidden treasure amongst it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions, to explore what is at the heart of your resistance? I assure you, this practice alone, can change your life more than you realise.

It will empower you to control your emotions and understand their underlying motive. You needn't struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will seldom come in the form you hope for. They are often disguised as: hardship, pain, struggle and disappointment and requires we face them with optimism instead resistance. I often asked myself: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it in their stride? Why don't these people let their experiences get them down? What do they know that others don't?

I'm not convinced that successful people are any wiser or more intelligent than the rest of us. I'm certain however, they have experienced heartache, suffering and misfortunes to know that hardships don't come to disturb our peace, but to anchor us in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. That is why those who are most responsive to change will thrive because they move with their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give that gift to yourself right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. It is only then you will realise that thriving isn't a state of mind but a way of being in the world.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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