We are continually reminded about the "new normal" and the struggle to return business to the way it was, as if it ever can be again. The news can become discouraging while working from home, especially if it seems there is no end in sight for current the pandemic and other societal problems. Not only is the news a source of frustration, the certainty of employment has evaporated for many industries and careers. It seems as if a person who has a job has the only future available now, and to dream of anything more is to hope for too much.
Yet it is possible to think about the future, even in the seemingly worst of circumstances, whether or not you work at home, have no certainty of a job in the months to come, and you are or are not employed now. The challenge is overcoming the natural barriers your mind creates when you feel the weight of circumstances around you, from national and international crises, to your own personal and professional matters. When there are so many issues and problems vying for your attention, it weighs heavily on your mind, creating a sense of push and pull. You seem to be pushed from one headline to the next, and your attention continually pulled from one worrisome idea to another.
When you create mental barriers, it interrupts your own development and this is what prevents you from being ready for new opportunities. As an educator and career coach I have used the phrase opportunity-ready to not only refer to the future career opportunities which may come your way, but the opportunities that are available now within your existing career. For example, I am always concerned with my well-being and state of mind as an educator, knowing that I want to be opportunity-ready for my employer, ready to accept the challenges and opportunities which are a natural part of the position. You can also develop this same state of mind when you breakdown any barriers to growth that are present now.
Natural and Intentional Growth
You grow naturally without thought, at a subconscious level. This occurs through time on the job and the experience you gain, along with the skills acquired. You cannot help but grow on some level, whether or not you are aware of it. Even if you are performing the same job, day after day, and it seems as if you have grown stagnant within that position, you are still growing to some extent. Consider the knowledge you've gained, even if by trial and error, interactions with customers, problem-solving, and working on projects. You have evolved, whether or not you can see it at this time.
There is also intentional growth, or the type of growth you are aware of and intentionally pursue. It may be formal education, or the type of education obtained within a classroom environment. This type of growth may also occur by reading, attending a webinar, attempting a new project, or consciously becoming involved in any other similar endeavor. When you intend to seek out new knowledge, or acquire new skills, the purpose may be to benefit your current job or future career. The accumulation of your knowledge helps to create a competitive advantage, along with a feeling of being proactive in your career.
Discovering Your Barriers to Growth
As an educator and career coach, what I have learned through my work with students and client is the barriers to growth can be summarized into two primary categories, beliefs and acceptance. Even those who have been seemingly well-focused and able to develop goals can still become wrapped up in current events and need to work on overcoming sticking points.
Barriers Centered around Beliefs: One of the common barriers is centered on the belief that a person's life and/or career won't, can't, or will not change. This is a product of time, effort, and mental habits. If you have been trying to better your life, create new plans, initiate change, or make an attempt to find a new career path, and nothing seems to happen in the manner you would like it to, then it may become easy to develop a negative belief.
The default setting it seems is this: See, Believe, Try. It translates into: I see results of my effort, then if all goes well, I believe in myself and try again. The reverse also holds true: If I do not see the results of my effort, I will not believe in myself, and I may not try again.
Barriers Centered around Acceptance: Most individuals I work with who have this type of barrier are prone to accept reality as it is now, and they are unable to see any hope for future change. The development of reality-based barriers is even more challenging now during a pandemic when the certainty of resolution is unknown.
Anyone who struggles with fear of the future, and becomes mentally paralyzed from taking action because they see no hope, have those feelings amplified to a much greater degree now. There seems to be no escape from reminders of the bleakness the world faces either, as the worst of the crisis is ever present within news, and advertisements remind us we are isolated at home. It can be easy to eventually succumb to the feeling life will not get better.
Breaking Barriers to Growth
We often keep hitting the same wall, until we realize we have become stuck. To overcome any mental barrier, you must be willing to admit to yourself that something is not working well for you now. It is not a matter of right or wrong, ego, pride, or admission of failure. It is being able to continue to evolve, both personally and professionally. You can simply state: "Somehow I feel stuck and I want to make improvements". That's how the process of uncovering obstacles begins, as you cannot change the external or the circumstance around your life, but you can change the internal factors that are holding you back.
Self-Evaluation and Self-Discovery
To be able to uncover your barriers, you need to begin by doing what may feel the most uncomfortable, and that is to admit you need to self-examine your mindset. This will begin a process of self-evaluation, which in turn can lead you through self-discovery. The only reason obstacles exist are due to the patterns of thoughts established in the mind.
Consider this example: The mind initiates a series of steps that creates habitual thinking, which leads to chronic patterns of how you act while interacting with others in the workplace and how you perform your job. There is a logical component to these steps, as required for completing your required tasks; however, there are aspects involved that require capacity, and this is where your beliefs come in. Self-evaluation, utilizing reflection as a tool to evaluate yourself, will help to uncover those beliefs. It's not a matter of being weak when you need to determine why you are mentally stuck, it's showing yourself you want to grow.
Implement this Strategy: To help you get started, I recommend you create an event log or better stated, an event chart. The events to keep track of during each day are the tasks, requirements, duties, projects, and anything else you were consciously asked to perform in your job. This is the first column of the event chart.
The second column will be the self-reflection reactions. I recommend you record your self-reflection reactions at the end of the day, when you have time to think back on how you responded to the tasks, requirements, duties, projects, and anything noted within your event log or chart. Take time to note your initial reaction, along with the final actions you've taken.
The third and final column in your event log or chart needs to be labeled self-focus. You can complete this column at the end of the day, or perhaps you could complete this at the end of the week, after you have given yourself even more time to reflect. This column will present yourself with an opportunity to answer the following questions for each notation within the event log or chart: Was this the best response? Did this response lead to the best possible outcome? Was there a better possible response and outcome? If so, what was it?
From this event log you can then develop a plan of action. My recommendation is that you create a set of statements to acknowledge your new found wisdom. The following prompts can help you get started:
I have learned...
I now know this about myself...
I need to improve upon...
I discovered I am capable of...
I plan to choose this type of reaction in the future...
This may all seem too far-fetched for the average person to complete. Yet we live in a time when the external "noise" is so loud, which includes the technology used, we must find a way to pay attention to what is going on within our minds. This is where the pathway to success can be found, learning to evaluate ourselves from the inside out.
Becoming Opportunity-Ready
Once you've decided to take a proactive approach to evaluating your mindset, you will find yourself better positioned for future opportunities. This doesn't imply you are going to begin a job search, rather it means you are prepared to perform your best now and in doing so, you've become opportunity-ready. The success of many employers now depends upon the performance of its employees. Your willingness to perform your best not only makes you shine, you are contributing to the success and longevity of your employer, and you may also be readying yourself for future opportunities. But no matter the reason why you have broken down the barriers to your growth, it should always be done first and foremost for your own benefit and mindset well-being. To begin each day with a sense of hope and willingness to be fully engaged in whatever task comes your way, regardless of circumstances, can be one of the most rewarding feelings you will ever experience.
Dr. Bruce A. Johnson is an inspirational author, writer, and teacher.
Dr. Johnson's background involved helping others, including people and organizations. His roles have included Manager of Training and Development, Human Performance Improvement Consultant, Online Instructor, Career Coach, Curriculum Developer, Manager of Faculty Development, and Chief Academic Officer.
Since 2005, Dr. J has specialized in distance learning, adult learning, faculty development, online teaching, career management, career development, and human performance improvement. He has a Ph.D. in Postsecondary and Adult Education, a Certificate in Training and Performance Improvement, and a Master of Business Administration, MBA. Presently Dr. J is a Core Faculty member for one of the premiere online universities.
As a scholar practitioner, Dr. J was published in a scholarly journal and he has been a featured presenter at an international distance learning conference. He has also published books, eBooks, and over 200 online articles about adult learning, higher education, distance learning, online teaching, and professional development, helping to fulfill his life's mission to teach, mentor, write, and inspire others.
https://ezinearticles.com/?How-You-Can-Break-Barriers-to-Growth-and-Become-Opportunity-Ready&id=10313590
Saturday, July 18, 2020
Friday, July 17, 2020
How to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thinking
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." - Helen Keller
Depending on where you are living, you could be waking up to spring daffodils and birdsong or, you may be shoveling out from the latest snowfall. Sometimes it feels as though nothing is happening and that today is just a repeat of yesterday. But, whatever your circumstances, remember, this too shall pass. Change is just around the corner.
How can you make the most out of what is or isn't happening in your life at this time? You may not be able to change your circumstances but how could you change your attitude toward your circumstances? What if you were to flip whatever you're telling yourself about your circumstances and re-frame it so that it empowers you? For instance, try removing the words, should, could, can't or never from your self-talk. Replace these with words that build you up rather than tear you down.
We are all engaged in too much negative self-talk. Just look around and you will see it reflected back in the world. The more we focus and talk about everything that is wrong in the world, the more we collectively seed the thought pool of lack and limitation. It's this all or nothing thinking that keeps us stuck in this endless pattern.
Wouldn't it be more fun to feast on thoughts and words that accentuate the positive in our lives? We can all do this by paying attention to what we think and say. As thoughts come up in your mind, notice how you feel. You can tell by the way you feel if your thoughts are uplifting or taking you in a downward spiral of negativity.
Watch what you say. Your words contain powerful energy. Whatever you say out loud acts like a boomerang and comes straight back to you. The point is, you have the power to choose in each moment which path you want to travel through life on. You don't have to go it alone. Find others who are stepping off the beaten path to support you. You could start a book group or join a group with others who may be interested personal growth. You can start right now to plant new seeds of positive thoughts then water them daily with positive affirmations.
You can change your life. One thought at a time.
Nancy Bishop is a Life Change Coach providing a menu of coaching programs serving women at midlife who want to blend their passions with purpose. Visit her website http://www.yourlifeyourway.com for more information and to subscribe to her monthly newsletter.
https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Change-Your-Life-by-Changing-Your-Thinking&id=6030486
Depending on where you are living, you could be waking up to spring daffodils and birdsong or, you may be shoveling out from the latest snowfall. Sometimes it feels as though nothing is happening and that today is just a repeat of yesterday. But, whatever your circumstances, remember, this too shall pass. Change is just around the corner.
How can you make the most out of what is or isn't happening in your life at this time? You may not be able to change your circumstances but how could you change your attitude toward your circumstances? What if you were to flip whatever you're telling yourself about your circumstances and re-frame it so that it empowers you? For instance, try removing the words, should, could, can't or never from your self-talk. Replace these with words that build you up rather than tear you down.
We are all engaged in too much negative self-talk. Just look around and you will see it reflected back in the world. The more we focus and talk about everything that is wrong in the world, the more we collectively seed the thought pool of lack and limitation. It's this all or nothing thinking that keeps us stuck in this endless pattern.
Wouldn't it be more fun to feast on thoughts and words that accentuate the positive in our lives? We can all do this by paying attention to what we think and say. As thoughts come up in your mind, notice how you feel. You can tell by the way you feel if your thoughts are uplifting or taking you in a downward spiral of negativity.
Watch what you say. Your words contain powerful energy. Whatever you say out loud acts like a boomerang and comes straight back to you. The point is, you have the power to choose in each moment which path you want to travel through life on. You don't have to go it alone. Find others who are stepping off the beaten path to support you. You could start a book group or join a group with others who may be interested personal growth. You can start right now to plant new seeds of positive thoughts then water them daily with positive affirmations.
You can change your life. One thought at a time.
Nancy Bishop is a Life Change Coach providing a menu of coaching programs serving women at midlife who want to blend their passions with purpose. Visit her website http://www.yourlifeyourway.com for more information and to subscribe to her monthly newsletter.
https://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Change-Your-Life-by-Changing-Your-Thinking&id=6030486
Thursday, July 16, 2020
Your Challenges Don't Expose Your Weaknesses, They Reveal Your Strengths
Negative Emotions Often Leave Clues
I want you to close your eyes and think of a difficult experience affecting you right now. Before you read any further, do this simple step to get a sense of how the problem is upsetting you. You may experience a range of emotions and I invite you to welcome them. Don't push them away because they are uncomfortable. Allow them to be present since unpleasant emotions can teach us something valuable if we are present to them. Good, now open your eyes and let's talk more about your problems. Thankfully, you are one of billions of people on this earth lucky enough to experience challenges. Lucky you say? Are you insane Tony? How am I lucky to have problems? You are lucky because your challenges contain the seeds of opportunities you have yet to discover.
Challenges contain enormous growth and when we overcome them, we can never go back to our old way of life. They help us recognise the endless possibilities and expand our consciousness. When I asked you to contemplate a current problem earlier, you no doubt experienced the negative emotions associated with it? And you would be right to feel this way because from where you stand the problem seems insurmountable. However, when you bridge the gap, it is diminished and you are able to see your challenges from a new perspective. You're unable to perceive your problem with that mindset now because you haven't gained the necessary growth.
It's easy to see how our challenges expose our weaknesses, but we ought to think of it differently: they also reveal our strengths. If we accept the emotions that arise, we can work through our challenges more effectively. For example, I remember working with a young woman named Jennifer within a coaching capacity. Each time she experienced difficulties in her life, she would call me in a frenzy and explain how the situation was consuming her. One day during a coaching session, I invited her to tackle her challenges without allowing her anxiety, fear and frustration to get the better of her. I asked her to welcome these feelings since they were trying to teach her something valuable. Previously, she wanted to get rid of them because they didn't feel good. And I understand she would feel that way, however negative emotions can show us where we need to direct our attention.
The Distance Between The Problem And The Solution
Does this make sense? Are you comfortable with the idea that negative emotions serve a purpose and we needn't feel helpless because of them? I counselled Jennifer to be aware of her response and not push the emotions away, since they were trying to teach her something important. Given she felt anxious and irritated each time, meant the problem was important to her. It requires changing our response so we remain calm instead of reacting to what is taking place. We ought to interact with our core emotions and work through the issues instead of responding negatively. For example, if you asked someone close to you whether the situation you're experiencing is a major problem, they might think otherwise. The reason you react to it, is that you are heavily invested in the outcome. I'm not suggesting this is detrimental, I am implying you accept your feelings by changing your response to what it means.
People believe problems expose their weaknesses because of the negative emotions that accompany it. If we experience fear, frustration and anger we might believe we are incapable of overcoming the experience because of the negativity involved. But they are signposts informing us the problem is important to us, otherwise we wouldn't be experiencing them. So, welcome the negative emotions and process them as best you can and then deal with the problem before you. Can you do this? Can you give yourself the gift of looking at your problems from a new perspective instead of staying mired in negativity? I assure you, you can overcome any obstacle life throws at you. It's a matter of biting through it one piece at a time, chewing it thoroughly and digesting what you need to.
You are not meant to bridge the gap from problem to solution in one go, otherwise you would be a genius. Problems and challenges arise because of the lessons and growth required for our life's journey. They occur because the distance between the problem and the solution is where progress takes place. We can't rush the growth any more than wishing a rose would grow quicker when planting the seed. We must nurture it daily with: water, proper soil and sunlight. And so it is with our challenges. Knowing this, I'd like you to return to your earlier problem. Write all the emotions you are experiencing on the left-hand side of a piece of paper or journal. Next to each emotion, write what you consider is the opposite of that emotion. For example if you feel fear, what is the opposite of fear for you? Is it: courage, faith, hope or patience? Once you've gone through the list, reflect on what these negative states are inviting you to know. Contemplate them first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Trust that your current situation is calling you to overcome your weaknesses to reveal your true strength of character.
Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!
I want you to close your eyes and think of a difficult experience affecting you right now. Before you read any further, do this simple step to get a sense of how the problem is upsetting you. You may experience a range of emotions and I invite you to welcome them. Don't push them away because they are uncomfortable. Allow them to be present since unpleasant emotions can teach us something valuable if we are present to them. Good, now open your eyes and let's talk more about your problems. Thankfully, you are one of billions of people on this earth lucky enough to experience challenges. Lucky you say? Are you insane Tony? How am I lucky to have problems? You are lucky because your challenges contain the seeds of opportunities you have yet to discover.
Challenges contain enormous growth and when we overcome them, we can never go back to our old way of life. They help us recognise the endless possibilities and expand our consciousness. When I asked you to contemplate a current problem earlier, you no doubt experienced the negative emotions associated with it? And you would be right to feel this way because from where you stand the problem seems insurmountable. However, when you bridge the gap, it is diminished and you are able to see your challenges from a new perspective. You're unable to perceive your problem with that mindset now because you haven't gained the necessary growth.
It's easy to see how our challenges expose our weaknesses, but we ought to think of it differently: they also reveal our strengths. If we accept the emotions that arise, we can work through our challenges more effectively. For example, I remember working with a young woman named Jennifer within a coaching capacity. Each time she experienced difficulties in her life, she would call me in a frenzy and explain how the situation was consuming her. One day during a coaching session, I invited her to tackle her challenges without allowing her anxiety, fear and frustration to get the better of her. I asked her to welcome these feelings since they were trying to teach her something valuable. Previously, she wanted to get rid of them because they didn't feel good. And I understand she would feel that way, however negative emotions can show us where we need to direct our attention.
The Distance Between The Problem And The Solution
Does this make sense? Are you comfortable with the idea that negative emotions serve a purpose and we needn't feel helpless because of them? I counselled Jennifer to be aware of her response and not push the emotions away, since they were trying to teach her something important. Given she felt anxious and irritated each time, meant the problem was important to her. It requires changing our response so we remain calm instead of reacting to what is taking place. We ought to interact with our core emotions and work through the issues instead of responding negatively. For example, if you asked someone close to you whether the situation you're experiencing is a major problem, they might think otherwise. The reason you react to it, is that you are heavily invested in the outcome. I'm not suggesting this is detrimental, I am implying you accept your feelings by changing your response to what it means.
People believe problems expose their weaknesses because of the negative emotions that accompany it. If we experience fear, frustration and anger we might believe we are incapable of overcoming the experience because of the negativity involved. But they are signposts informing us the problem is important to us, otherwise we wouldn't be experiencing them. So, welcome the negative emotions and process them as best you can and then deal with the problem before you. Can you do this? Can you give yourself the gift of looking at your problems from a new perspective instead of staying mired in negativity? I assure you, you can overcome any obstacle life throws at you. It's a matter of biting through it one piece at a time, chewing it thoroughly and digesting what you need to.
You are not meant to bridge the gap from problem to solution in one go, otherwise you would be a genius. Problems and challenges arise because of the lessons and growth required for our life's journey. They occur because the distance between the problem and the solution is where progress takes place. We can't rush the growth any more than wishing a rose would grow quicker when planting the seed. We must nurture it daily with: water, proper soil and sunlight. And so it is with our challenges. Knowing this, I'd like you to return to your earlier problem. Write all the emotions you are experiencing on the left-hand side of a piece of paper or journal. Next to each emotion, write what you consider is the opposite of that emotion. For example if you feel fear, what is the opposite of fear for you? Is it: courage, faith, hope or patience? Once you've gone through the list, reflect on what these negative states are inviting you to know. Contemplate them first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. Trust that your current situation is calling you to overcome your weaknesses to reveal your true strength of character.
Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!
Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Becoming An Exceptional Human Being
Of all the goals and aspirations in life, having achieved a great variety of extraordinary experiences myself, I have determined that there is no better goal for ones life than to become an exceptional human being.
Exceptional means in all aspects of life, the three main ones being Financial, Relationships, and Self-esteem.
The material aspect covers finances and simply taking care of having all ones needs met to whatever level of luxury one desires. Relationships is not only marriage, but family, friends, co-workers etc. And third, perhaps the most important as it is the foundation of the other two, is ones relationship with oneself. A healthy self-esteem, which comes from a deep sense of knowing you are worthy of your own existence and place in the world.
My belief about the reason we exist, why be a human on this planet, is a rather long and more complex topic, but is simply explained with the analogy of a caterpillar.
A caterpillar has no choice but to become a butterfly, because it is ruled entirely by nature and instinct. Humans are 'designed' to also go through a metamorphosis, which is, according to my theory, the reason for our existence.
As the caterpillar is no longer recognizable in the butterfly, so is a selfish, arrogant, nasty, nervous, insecure person no longer recognizable if they transform into a humble, generous, kind, calm, balanced and selfless person.
The difference between humans and caterpillars is simply the one thing that sets humans apart from every other creature on this planet, which is that we have freedom of choice, at least to a degree. We can choose our actions, and if we cannot because of our emotional imbalances, we can choose to correct that imbalance and then be able to choose our behaviour.
I have now traveled in 86 countries, and studied humans from that many cultures only to find that despite the differences between adults with their opinions and cultural tendencies, we are all identical when we are children.
In every country, religion, culture and social class, wealth or poverty, a child is identical in its movements, interests, reactions and process of learning as it grows up.
Water is water and only changes depending on what is added to it, sugar, syrup, flavour, salt, pepper herbs etc. A human is born water and then their parents and cultural situation adds the flavouring that labels them into the adult they become.
Our work is to evaporate the water so it returns to purity and then choose by our own will what 'flavouring' we will add, if any. This is the reason for our existence, and the only purpose in life that I have found to be truly satisfying and never fades in its power to make life worthwhile.
The gift of freedom of choice that humans have over all other features is in fact also a curse. We have the choice to transform or to remain the same until we die, it is each persons individual choice. You can choose to stay a caterpillar and crawl through your life, or you can withdraw from your current life situation, and transform yourself, then emerge as something far more beautiful and free.
My life has been devoted to finding the ways to make this transformation. I have pursued great financial success as well as the monastic life. I have studied many spiritual traditions, and found all to be lacking as they no longer fit in the modern world. However, their essential principles remain the same.
Ethicalism.org gives the foundation of building a strong self-esteem, and from that, financial and worldly success, as well as making yourself into as good a partner as anyone can hope to have to share their life with. This is one way I am offering to achieve this, which one can take as far or as little as they choose towards their transformation.
It will take time to evaporate your fixed opinions and the limiting attitudes of your culture, but it can be done in a way that allows you to choose what to keep and what to let go of. If this concept resonates with you, Ethicalism.org is a start, and I am always happy to respond to any questions anyone may have to take the work further.
I will go into the process of 'evaporation' in Part 2
Ethicalism is simply a collection of ethics and practical exercises to help apply them in our life. In conducting ourselves such that we will live a satisfying and purposeful life, we strengthen our individuality and self-esteem, while opening up to deeper connections with ourself and others.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Becoming-An-Exceptional-Human-Being&id=1018830
Exceptional means in all aspects of life, the three main ones being Financial, Relationships, and Self-esteem.
The material aspect covers finances and simply taking care of having all ones needs met to whatever level of luxury one desires. Relationships is not only marriage, but family, friends, co-workers etc. And third, perhaps the most important as it is the foundation of the other two, is ones relationship with oneself. A healthy self-esteem, which comes from a deep sense of knowing you are worthy of your own existence and place in the world.
My belief about the reason we exist, why be a human on this planet, is a rather long and more complex topic, but is simply explained with the analogy of a caterpillar.
A caterpillar has no choice but to become a butterfly, because it is ruled entirely by nature and instinct. Humans are 'designed' to also go through a metamorphosis, which is, according to my theory, the reason for our existence.
As the caterpillar is no longer recognizable in the butterfly, so is a selfish, arrogant, nasty, nervous, insecure person no longer recognizable if they transform into a humble, generous, kind, calm, balanced and selfless person.
The difference between humans and caterpillars is simply the one thing that sets humans apart from every other creature on this planet, which is that we have freedom of choice, at least to a degree. We can choose our actions, and if we cannot because of our emotional imbalances, we can choose to correct that imbalance and then be able to choose our behaviour.
I have now traveled in 86 countries, and studied humans from that many cultures only to find that despite the differences between adults with their opinions and cultural tendencies, we are all identical when we are children.
In every country, religion, culture and social class, wealth or poverty, a child is identical in its movements, interests, reactions and process of learning as it grows up.
Water is water and only changes depending on what is added to it, sugar, syrup, flavour, salt, pepper herbs etc. A human is born water and then their parents and cultural situation adds the flavouring that labels them into the adult they become.
Our work is to evaporate the water so it returns to purity and then choose by our own will what 'flavouring' we will add, if any. This is the reason for our existence, and the only purpose in life that I have found to be truly satisfying and never fades in its power to make life worthwhile.
The gift of freedom of choice that humans have over all other features is in fact also a curse. We have the choice to transform or to remain the same until we die, it is each persons individual choice. You can choose to stay a caterpillar and crawl through your life, or you can withdraw from your current life situation, and transform yourself, then emerge as something far more beautiful and free.
My life has been devoted to finding the ways to make this transformation. I have pursued great financial success as well as the monastic life. I have studied many spiritual traditions, and found all to be lacking as they no longer fit in the modern world. However, their essential principles remain the same.
Ethicalism.org gives the foundation of building a strong self-esteem, and from that, financial and worldly success, as well as making yourself into as good a partner as anyone can hope to have to share their life with. This is one way I am offering to achieve this, which one can take as far or as little as they choose towards their transformation.
It will take time to evaporate your fixed opinions and the limiting attitudes of your culture, but it can be done in a way that allows you to choose what to keep and what to let go of. If this concept resonates with you, Ethicalism.org is a start, and I am always happy to respond to any questions anyone may have to take the work further.
I will go into the process of 'evaporation' in Part 2
Ethicalism is simply a collection of ethics and practical exercises to help apply them in our life. In conducting ourselves such that we will live a satisfying and purposeful life, we strengthen our individuality and self-esteem, while opening up to deeper connections with ourself and others.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Becoming-An-Exceptional-Human-Being&id=1018830
Monday, July 13, 2020
When Will I Learn From My Mistakes
"I never learn from my mistakes." A sad truth that this article will explain why we continually make the same mistakes again and again.
We actually do learn from our mistakes, but we learn bad habits. In every event, we are accumulating knowledge of a process; action, reaction and a result. This is exactly the same thing that we have been doing since we where born. An action leads to a reaction which leads to a result and the whole process gets stored in memory. When a similar action happens again, we automatically search our memory for an appropriate reaction that we think we should have, based on a previous event. This will produce a result and that result will be stored in memory.
The problem is that all we are doing is accumulating information as to if something happens, how did I react and what was the result. It does not teach us how to react to get a different result.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
If I ask you how much is 2 plus 2, you do not go through the mechanical process of counting one and one and one and one and get four. No, you think very quickly 2 plus 2 is 4, because you already know that answer. This is a very useful ability to save time and is good in many situations, but not in finding Love and learning from past relationship mistakes.
In order to find that perfect relationship that will last without fights and pain, we must learn the reason why we make these mistakes.
Our problem lies in desire. We desire certain things, which means we require a certain outcome to all situations. It is extremely rare for us to meet a new person and be completely open to it turning out how it will, how destiny or circumstance will determine, rather than how you want it to be.
In our relationships, we often have arguments and get angry with another person because even though Jack told Jill his situation, Jill did not want to hear it because it did not fit in with her desires. This is the cause of most conflicts, most fights, most disagreements.
You where given information either verbally or subtly, with hints that your intuition was capable of interpreting and preparing for if you were in a completely objective state and listening to what the other person was really trying to say. But you did not hear it because it did not fit with your plans. Often a person cannot properly formulate or verbalize their thoughts, but if you are attentive and open enough, you can see what they are trying to express. Sometimes they just do not have the courage to say it.
This applies very well to new relationships when fear of being alone enters. How many characteristics do we close our eyes to when meeting a new person because we want the relationship to work out for any number of reasons.
If you close your eyes and go into a room, you have no right to curse the furniture when you stub your toe. Even moving the furniture around is no help because the next time you enter the room, if you still close your eyes, you will hit the furniture again. The fault is not in the furniture, the room or the lack of light, these are all parts of the mind.
We repeat our mistakes and never learn because we do not know the correct way to react to a situation. Every situation is different. It would be impossible for anyone to learn the right reaction to every possible event. If anyone gives you a guide or list of; 'if this happens, then do that', is preparing you for disaster.
What if it is a bomb disposal instruction said; "cut the blue wire before the red", but the guy who made the bomb mixed up the wires?
Rather, the solution lies in developing a completely objective mind that is open without placing its desires in your own thoughts so loudly that it drowns out common sense and to your ability to interpret the clear signs.
Once you have developed the ability to be objective and allow all things to happen freely, you will not need to control things, or to try and alter things to your desires. You will have developed an ability to be prepared for all events before they happen because, along with being objective, that ability brings flexibility and adaptability so you will be able to adapt to all situations with complete equanimity.
You will no longer need to force things against their nature, because that is only a temporary change. Eventually nature will take its own course, and that is the moment that it slaps you in the face.
In this way you will be able to adapt to all situations, prepare in advance for most difficulties and events and you will be right in the perfect spot to gain the most benefit and live with the most ease through all situations and, finally, you will have learnt from your mistakes. Not the event, but the manner of dealing with the events in your own mind.
EXERCISE
To become objective you must realize and accept how very subjective you are, then change it. The solution to every problem can be found in accepting the objective reality of the situation. That is all. Once you have that, you will have attained equanimity and can be the master of your own heart and mind which means, you will no longer have fear of opening your heart and feeling the love we all desire.
Stop putting your desires, ideas and concepts on other people. Listen to them instead.
After decades of helping people resolve their relationship issues, both in current and past relationships, and helping people find that new and lasting love, David Samuel is now available to world, on line, to share his wisdom and experiences https://relationshipcoachonline.com/
https://ezinearticles.com/?When-Will-I-Learn-From-My-Mistakes&id=10280575
We actually do learn from our mistakes, but we learn bad habits. In every event, we are accumulating knowledge of a process; action, reaction and a result. This is exactly the same thing that we have been doing since we where born. An action leads to a reaction which leads to a result and the whole process gets stored in memory. When a similar action happens again, we automatically search our memory for an appropriate reaction that we think we should have, based on a previous event. This will produce a result and that result will be stored in memory.
The problem is that all we are doing is accumulating information as to if something happens, how did I react and what was the result. It does not teach us how to react to get a different result.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
If I ask you how much is 2 plus 2, you do not go through the mechanical process of counting one and one and one and one and get four. No, you think very quickly 2 plus 2 is 4, because you already know that answer. This is a very useful ability to save time and is good in many situations, but not in finding Love and learning from past relationship mistakes.
In order to find that perfect relationship that will last without fights and pain, we must learn the reason why we make these mistakes.
Our problem lies in desire. We desire certain things, which means we require a certain outcome to all situations. It is extremely rare for us to meet a new person and be completely open to it turning out how it will, how destiny or circumstance will determine, rather than how you want it to be.
In our relationships, we often have arguments and get angry with another person because even though Jack told Jill his situation, Jill did not want to hear it because it did not fit in with her desires. This is the cause of most conflicts, most fights, most disagreements.
You where given information either verbally or subtly, with hints that your intuition was capable of interpreting and preparing for if you were in a completely objective state and listening to what the other person was really trying to say. But you did not hear it because it did not fit with your plans. Often a person cannot properly formulate or verbalize their thoughts, but if you are attentive and open enough, you can see what they are trying to express. Sometimes they just do not have the courage to say it.
This applies very well to new relationships when fear of being alone enters. How many characteristics do we close our eyes to when meeting a new person because we want the relationship to work out for any number of reasons.
If you close your eyes and go into a room, you have no right to curse the furniture when you stub your toe. Even moving the furniture around is no help because the next time you enter the room, if you still close your eyes, you will hit the furniture again. The fault is not in the furniture, the room or the lack of light, these are all parts of the mind.
We repeat our mistakes and never learn because we do not know the correct way to react to a situation. Every situation is different. It would be impossible for anyone to learn the right reaction to every possible event. If anyone gives you a guide or list of; 'if this happens, then do that', is preparing you for disaster.
What if it is a bomb disposal instruction said; "cut the blue wire before the red", but the guy who made the bomb mixed up the wires?
Rather, the solution lies in developing a completely objective mind that is open without placing its desires in your own thoughts so loudly that it drowns out common sense and to your ability to interpret the clear signs.
Once you have developed the ability to be objective and allow all things to happen freely, you will not need to control things, or to try and alter things to your desires. You will have developed an ability to be prepared for all events before they happen because, along with being objective, that ability brings flexibility and adaptability so you will be able to adapt to all situations with complete equanimity.
You will no longer need to force things against their nature, because that is only a temporary change. Eventually nature will take its own course, and that is the moment that it slaps you in the face.
In this way you will be able to adapt to all situations, prepare in advance for most difficulties and events and you will be right in the perfect spot to gain the most benefit and live with the most ease through all situations and, finally, you will have learnt from your mistakes. Not the event, but the manner of dealing with the events in your own mind.
EXERCISE
To become objective you must realize and accept how very subjective you are, then change it. The solution to every problem can be found in accepting the objective reality of the situation. That is all. Once you have that, you will have attained equanimity and can be the master of your own heart and mind which means, you will no longer have fear of opening your heart and feeling the love we all desire.
Stop putting your desires, ideas and concepts on other people. Listen to them instead.
After decades of helping people resolve their relationship issues, both in current and past relationships, and helping people find that new and lasting love, David Samuel is now available to world, on line, to share his wisdom and experiences https://relationshipcoachonline.com/
https://ezinearticles.com/?When-Will-I-Learn-From-My-Mistakes&id=10280575
Sunday, July 12, 2020
Active Thinking Is Power
Passive reaction is the ultimate weakness. You know, this article starts out on a seemingly cynical note, but I promise, if you read on, it will be optimistic and compelling. So keep reading and you will get to that. With that said, this article and its goal is to make you genuinely think and be actively conscious and mindful instead of reacting by being mindlessly dismissive about "another motivational article".
Thinking, combined with action and realistic planning is the genuine strength in life and existence, not reaction or fearful inaction forced by the fear of one word from others, and that word is "no". If you get "no", get creative and take another approach to what you need to deal with, but do not directly quit working on what you need or want to work on.
Sometimes there are problems in all of our lives, and realities we cannot seemingly deal with easily, and I say to those, do not react negatively, get creative in solving the problems instead of denouncing the problems instantly as unsolvable or impossible in reaction to them.
When I think about what reality comes down to, I think about thought, action, positive vibration from ourselves and generating results creatively. Reaction is mostly the last thing on my mind. In that William Clement Stone way, I think, if I have a problem, that is good, it is creativity time, not time to die, give up or get weak. In short, problems increase my skills when I deal with them instead of avoid them, right down to big problems that are a challenge. The best problem solvers are those people who genuinely and consciously act realistically and calmly in a businesslike way instead of react unrealistically in an emotionally fearful way. In fact, a calm, empowered consciousness is the key to advantages, power and strength. Nervous reaction and weakness are just that, nervous reaction and weakness, because, that kind of thing gets nothing done anyway. Indeed, fear gets nothing done, and that is where I agree with Beverley "Zig" Ziglar the motivational speaker, in that sense fear does stand for "False Evidence Appearing Real" because when nothing gets done genuinely fear has taken hold and power leaves. We must reject this sort of thinking and living and get things genuinely done creatively, not competitively, fearfully, or in a cheating way. What I mean is "the only way out is through". Not quitting, not avoidance, but going through it, whatever it is.
My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Active-Thinking-Is-Power&id=10225475
Thinking, combined with action and realistic planning is the genuine strength in life and existence, not reaction or fearful inaction forced by the fear of one word from others, and that word is "no". If you get "no", get creative and take another approach to what you need to deal with, but do not directly quit working on what you need or want to work on.
Sometimes there are problems in all of our lives, and realities we cannot seemingly deal with easily, and I say to those, do not react negatively, get creative in solving the problems instead of denouncing the problems instantly as unsolvable or impossible in reaction to them.
When I think about what reality comes down to, I think about thought, action, positive vibration from ourselves and generating results creatively. Reaction is mostly the last thing on my mind. In that William Clement Stone way, I think, if I have a problem, that is good, it is creativity time, not time to die, give up or get weak. In short, problems increase my skills when I deal with them instead of avoid them, right down to big problems that are a challenge. The best problem solvers are those people who genuinely and consciously act realistically and calmly in a businesslike way instead of react unrealistically in an emotionally fearful way. In fact, a calm, empowered consciousness is the key to advantages, power and strength. Nervous reaction and weakness are just that, nervous reaction and weakness, because, that kind of thing gets nothing done anyway. Indeed, fear gets nothing done, and that is where I agree with Beverley "Zig" Ziglar the motivational speaker, in that sense fear does stand for "False Evidence Appearing Real" because when nothing gets done genuinely fear has taken hold and power leaves. We must reject this sort of thinking and living and get things genuinely done creatively, not competitively, fearfully, or in a cheating way. What I mean is "the only way out is through". Not quitting, not avoidance, but going through it, whatever it is.
My name is Joshua Clayton, I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California. I also write under a few pen-names and aliases, but Joshua Clayton is my real name, and I write by that for the most part now. I am a philosophical writer and objective thinker and honest action taker. I also work at a senior center in Gardena, California as my day job, among other things, but primarily I am a writer.
https://ezinearticles.com/?Active-Thinking-Is-Power&id=10225475
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)