The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

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Three Steps to Inner Growth

Inner growth is defined as many things: life lessons, wisdom, knowledge, and evolution, to name a few.

It's typically acquired as a result of life experiences, and usually those particular experiences aren't very pleasant. Humans seem to be wired to learn through pain, which I guess makes a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, if everything was hunky dorey all the time and we felt good about all aspects of our life, why would we want to take a chance on ruining all that just to learn something?

Although inner growth occurs along a path, that path is rarely steady, even, or straight. However, it almost always consists of three main steps:

1. Awareness of the issue. Typically this awareness comes as a result of an uncomfortableness you feel when something's not working for you in your life. Most often this is something that causes you emotional pain rather than physical, although it could be both.

2. Gathering information about the issue. So, what happened to cause this new awareness? What exactly isn't working for you and how isn't it working? How can it be corrected? Those are just a few of the important questions you need to ask at this step. As you delve deeper into the issue, more questions will arise, some of which may surprise you.

3. Applying the information to the issue. This is the reward. This is where you get to see how well you've learned about the subject you chose to experience. This is the feel-good part of inner growth.

Let's use an example. Say, something like you got fired from your job.

1. Awareness. Well, that's pretty obvious. You don't have a job any more.

2. Gathering information. Why did you get fired? Was it something you were or were not doing? Is it personal or universal? If it's personal, what do you need to change about how you do your work or interact with your co-workers? If it's universal, such as an economic slowdown, what do you need to do to make yourself more valuable to an employer? These questions and others like them will garner you the information you need to continue on to the next and final step.

3. Applying the information. Make a list of the answers you came up with in Step 2 and use that information to create a to-do list. Maybe some of the changes you'll make are learning better communications skills, changing your work habits, improving your personal hygiene, taking classes to add to your working knowledge.

Of course, this applies to ALL inner growth, from the mundane such as the example of losing one's job, to the esoteric, such as emotional and spiritual growth.

Breaking down the learning experience into these three steps is like eating a ton of applesauce. It's a lot easier and less stressful when you do it one small bit at a time.

Aside from the inner growth and valuable insights and information you'll acquire, another benefit for you is that as you identify the step where you are in the process, you gain the satisfying knowledge that you're making progress.

What current learning opportunity are you experiencing? What are you learning about it? Which step are you at with your learning regarding the issue?

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IT'S POSSIBLE (Les Brown's Greatest Hits)

Change your mindset, change the game

3 SECRETS To Unlock The Full POWER Of Your MIND TODAY With Joe Dispenza | Lewis Howes

The Next Chapter Of Your Life Begins With The One You're Living Now

Something Of Benefit Also Comes With Its Problems

Are you always looking to the next chapter of your life because you're fed up with the one you're living now? You wouldn't be the only one since many people wait for things to improve because they are dissatisfied with the way things are. But how much of it is perception? Do things actually improve when life gets better? For example, those who win the lottery are worse off five to seven years later, according to statistics. Most of them squander their winnings and are in more debt than before they won the lottery. But how can this be? How can winning a large sum of money lead a person to be worse off than before? Financial experts believe they lack the financial skills to manage large sums of money and they spend frivolously because they are certain the money will not run out.

We may experience something similar if we believe getting what we want will make us happier. For instance, the two main problems people often face in coaching relate to finances and relationships. People are convinced when they have more money or a loving partner, their problems will vanish. Is this something you believe? I know I have. I wasn't aware that getting what I want also means getting what I don't want. What do I mean? There are two sides to a coin, meaning that something of benefit also comes with its problems. The key is to find balance and harmony in what we want and not over-complicate matters.

Therefore, attracting more money means having to give up something in order to earn it or learning to manage money more effectively. Similarly, having a fulfilling relationship has its downsides (which is favourable if you consider what you gain). That is, we must invest our time and energy to cultivate the relationship, otherwise our partner might not stay around for long. That is to say, when we are looking for a relationship, we are heavily invested in the process but we don't realise how much time and energy is required to sustain it. This is a desirable quality because anything worth building requires two people to invest their time and energy to create a strong foundation. Some people are not aware of what it requires to maintain and build a relationship and so they stop contributing to it at some point. They divest their energy and the relationship falls apart. I once heard a relationship counsellor suggest that people stay parked in relationships which is why it eventually ends.

Be Invested In The Life You Have Now

If we wish for the next chapter of our life to arrive, we must be aware of the problems that go with it. If we are not ready for what life will bring, we will lose what we gain. That is why the title of this article reads: The Next Chapter Of Your Life Begins With The One You're Living Now. What am I referring to? The life you're living now is the one you created, whether consciously or unconsciously. You attracted the conditions and even though it may be full of challenges and setbacks, there may be a reason for it. So wishing away the pain and disappointment means wishing away the personal growth that accompanies it. Some might say: "Tony, why would I want to attract health problems and a lack of money?" I don't know your particular situation but it is my experience people attract their life's conditions on an unconscious level because they haven't transformed their limiting beliefs with what they want. Does this make sense, insofar as your inner conflicts will make themselves visible in your reality until you reconcile them?

For example, if you unconsciously hold limiting beliefs of your unworthiness to attract a loving relationship, no matter how many dating sites you sign up to, you are bound to experience disappointment. I'm not suggesting everyone on dating sites will experience pain and heartache. There are many thousands of people who find a devoted partner every day because they are ready for it and have done the work to transform their limiting beliefs. Pain and disappointment can highlight areas of our life we must devote our attention to. It requires self-examination on why we are attracting those circumstances. For instance, a person with poor financial skills might attract unwanted financial conditions until they honour their self-worth. Perhaps they were brought up with a tough parent who criticised them. They may have adopted this belief which now shows up through their finances.

So what I'm trying to say is: until we recognise what is stopping us from attaining what we want, we will continue to attract undesirable conditions. We can change strategies and enlist the help of coaches, guides and mentors and some of it may work. However, if we are not committed to our personal growth, we will go back to our old ways eventually. It requires being invested in the life we have now. Your problems and challenges are the keys to your redemption. As the aphorism states: "The obstacle is the way." It is showing the exit off the freeway so you may experience better living conditions. But the price you must pay is doing the work to remove any unconscious impediments that stand in your way. With this in mind, I'd like you to give some thought to areas of your life where you feel held back. Write in your journal or diary how you may be unconsciously sabotaging yourself. What is the trade-off? What do you get by living these unconscious beliefs? Perhaps you prefer to remain safe in your comfort zone? Every belief serves a purpose, even ones that limit our potential. Ultimately, if we are constantly expecting the next chapter of our life to arrive without living the one we have now, we will attract situations that are not for our highest good.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!


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