Do What Challenges You, Not What Makes You Happy

Happiness Is A By-Product Of Improved Self-Esteem

I'd like to push you outside your comfort zone, if you are willing to take the test? OK, let us start with a question: Are you happy right now? If not, what is the cause of your unhappiness? You might not know and that's fine, but how will you recognise happiness if you cannot distinguish being unhappy? This is not about blame or judgement, but you consented to be pushed outside your comfort zone. Shall we go on? Do you make an attempt to step outside your comfort zone often? Do you challenge yourself regularly? Some people push themselves by challenging their body, through gruelling sporting endeavours. But they may experience little or no personal growth because they become thrill-seeking junkies.

If it's happiness we seek, we ought to do what challenges us, not what makes us happy. Let me explain what I mean. If we pursue happiness without personal improvement, it is likely to be short lived. However, if we pursue personal growth, then happiness is a by-product of improved self-esteem. It requires developing self-confidence and resiliency, which enhances our self-esteem. Are you with me so far? Can you see how trying to chase happiness alone is unrealistic because there is no foundation for it to last? It is similar to pursuing wild adventures, hoping each one will be better than the next. We become addicted to the thrill ride, but rarely experience lasting happiness.

Those we consider successful, whether leaders in our community or others, spend years nurturing their personal growth. They are happy because their consciousness has expanded to encompass their positive character traits. When we pursue actions that reinforce our self-worth, then happiness is likely to be long lasting. For example, think about when you graduated from university or received a job promotion. I'm certain you experienced a sense of achievement and greater self-esteem, given your dedication to your study or career. The reward becomes evident in your commitment to improve the quality of your life.

Choose What Pushes You, Not What Makes You Happy

As we enhance our personal growth, our level of happiness grows in proportion. Have you noticed those who feel unappreciated are constantly miserable or complaining about the state of the world? They feel as though life is beating down upon them, instead of assuming control of their own life. Don't become one of those people because life is not about playing victim, since we have more power than we recognise. Yes, we will make mistakes and experience failures and setbacks. Yes, challenges are sewn into the fabric of life, to enhance our self-esteem, not crush it. Therefore, we have a choice: we can choose to grow relative to our problems, or retreat into despair. But if we choose the latter, we are certain of a life filled with misery and discontent.

I'm certain you don't want to be that person? I'm sensing, if you've read this far, you value your personal growth and want to improve your life. The key, is to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity and difficulties. We must get up when we encounter defeat since we gain wisdom, fortitude and inner resilience, to overcome our challenges. For example, in my 20s, life was smooth sailing. However, in my 30s, challenges were more prominent and instead of cowering in defeat, I walked towards them with a strong conviction to grow from my experiences. I've encountered a great deal of pain, heartache and obstacles throughout my life, but I've experienced immense personal growth and hence why I am able to share this wisdom with others.

So, I invite you to choose what pushes you, not what makes you happy because you may be happy now, but miserable in the long run. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, instead of running from it, lean into it. You may find it is more than you can tolerate and that's okay. Trust that you will grow in proportion to your challenges, as long as you don't give up on yourself. Trust, you have the capacity to overcome difficult problems. Trust, you will gain sufficient growth to expand your consciousness beyond your current state. Knowing this, I'd like you to spend 15 minutes examining your current challenges. See if you can notice what they're inviting you to learn about yourself? Is it: patience, understanding, self-reliance, resiliency, courage, etc.? It is when we learn to dance with life, that the song we sing will be expressed through our setbacks and challenges.

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The Most Important of All Human Qualities Is a Sense of Hope

 It's interesting to observe that some people fray under the pressure of experience, but eventually learn they're called to mend their life along the way, whereas for others this experience is not liberating. Like Humpty Dumpty, they have a great fall and apparently are unable to learn new things or to unlearn old ones. Consequently, to be a human being is, one wonders, to find the nectar available to us in our own journey. But lots of people pretend that they already know everything they need to know.

It is really incredible that in this day and age human beings remain as foolish as ever they were. Meanwhile, let's remember that the apostle Paul warned us, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Rm. 12:2). He thought about our interior life. I do believe that the most important task in our lives is to make connections, that is, to make relations. Would there be another way to learn?

We live in a materialistic society and are trained from our earliest days to be acquisitive. No doubt, this materialistic outlook has seriously influenced our education. The other day, someone told me with sadness, "the only thing people are interested in today is earning more money." It seems that Mammon is worshipped as never before.

We have the task to live a good life without excuses. Although the moral implication of the attitudes of modern man is daunting, this should not dilute, or block, our search for companions for our journey. It is we who are responsible after all. So, it's foolish to blame others for our failures. The most important of all human qualities is a sense of hope. A sense of hope may take various forms, but the effect is always the same. It's only natural for healthy beings to look forward to something better.

Do you remember the Lilliputians and their neighbors attack each other because they couldn't agree which end to break an egg? Maybe aren't we all living like that? This is one of the chief functions of satire and irony. They enable us to see that many of our actions are comic or absurd. We are always reminded by good mentors that a happy and fulfilling life is not really far removed from ourselves.

The sense of hope must be single out as man's most important quality because it is associated with life itself. There's no future for human beings without hope.

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You Are That Which You Seek

When I first got on 'the path' in 2003, I was out of touch with what I would class as my true essence. I felt disconnected, powerless and I didn't know why my life was the way that it was.

The pain that I was in made me look for answers; I needed to find a way to change my life. I didn't know how I was going to do this, though; I just knew that I had to do something about what was going on.

A Miserable Existence

I was healthy, I had friends, somewhere to live and food on the table, yet I didn't feel as though I had an effect on my life or know what I was going to do with my life. To say that I felt lost would be an understatement.

I read numerous books and ended up working with a healer in 2007. As the years passed, I ended up working with numerous other healers and took different courses, and each time I hoped that my life would be transformed.

My Outlook

Ultimately, I believed that I was missing something and once I was able to attain it, my life would finally change. This doesn't mean that I wasn't ever told that this wasn't the case and what I was looking for was actually inside me.

Even so, due to what was going on for me, it wasn't possible for me to actually hear what I was being told and to feel it at the core of my being. What was stopping this from taking place was all of the 'stuff' that wasn't me.

The Purpose

When I was working with a healer a number of years ago, he said that the reason we were doing the work that we were doing was to let go of what was not me, so that I could connect to the truth of who I was. It was then the not about adding anything, it was about letting go of what wasn't the truth.

Intellectually, this was something that I already knew, but when I heard it this time something clicked at an emotional level. Still, it wasn't until a little while after that that what I heard went in even deeper, which caused me to feel different and to have a cascade of new insights.

It Made Sense

I would say that the reason that this made more sense at an emotional level and not just at an intellectual level was because of the growth that I had experienced. I got an even clearer sense that I didn't need anything to feel connected or powerful as this was my true nature.

In the main, what had caused me to feel so disconnected and powerless was the trauma that I experienced during my early years. And trying to change how I felt in order to feel connected and powerful, amongst other things, and although doing so made logical sense, just perpetuated how I felt, which makes me think of the following quote - what you resist is what will persist.


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3 SECRETS To Unlock The Full POWER Of Your MIND TODAY With Joe Dispenza | Lewis Howes

10 Benefits of Knowing Your Purpose

"To love what you do and feel that it matters-how could anything be more fun?" ~ Katharine Graham

What is so important about having a purpose in life? Increasingly, people are looking for something more than just "making a living." They're realizing that there seems to be something missing in their lives and they're experiencing an inner sense of dissatisfaction. Many outwardly successful people describe feeling "off-track" in some way or a sense of being incomplete. That missing something is a sense of purpose.
Without purpose, we may drift through life directionless and unfulfilled. According to business psychologist and psychotherapist Douglas La Bier, "The consequences of not finding your purpose include chronic, lingering dissatisfaction; an absence of inner peace and a sense of not being fully in sync with your inner self."

Here are some of the benefits of connecting with and pursuing your purpose:

1. It gives you control over your own direction in life. You stop following the "shoulds" of family and society and set your own course for what you want to do with your life.

2. You're more likely to have a healthier outlook on life and be more resistant to stress.

3. You have more focus in life, making choices based on what's meaningful to you.

4. You have a greater sense of inner peace and satisfaction as you align with what you were "made for."

5. You live more in the flow of life, rather than in struggle. This isn't to say there aren't challenges but when you have a sense of meaning and purpose the challenges don't seem as large and you get through them more quickly and easily. You're better able to handle the ups and downs of life. *

6. You enjoy more satisfying relationships. A 2009 study of over 1,000 adults found that those with a high sense of meaning in their lives spent more time and attention on their loved ones and communities. They were more engaged with their families, neighbors and colleagues.

7. It redefines what success means to you. It's not about climbing the corporate ladder, a particular title or how much money you make. This isn't to say you can't make good money. When you're doing what you love you are actually more aligned to everything you want, including financial abundance. It simply means that the usual markers of success in our society are not as important as the inner satisfaction of how you're spending your time. Success is defined by what brings you joy.

8. You'll love knowing what you're doing is making a contribution to the larger whole. When you're "on purpose" you'll be doing what you love and utilizing your talents in a way that adds more positive energy to the world. Serving more than your own self-interest connects you to your higher self. It opens your heart and summons your spirit.

9. Your overall happiness increases and you have more of a zest for life!

10. Having a sense of purpose can help you live longer! **

If you've connected with your purpose, congratulations! You're already reaping the rewards of "doing what you love and feeling that it matters." Whatever it is that you've found, if it is your passion and has meaning for you, it does matter.

If you're still wondering what your purpose is, I encourage you to explore the possibilities. What do you love to do? What talents and skills do you enjoy using? You may want to enlist the help of a coach to go deeper. The world is waiting for your unique gifts!

* From Ed Diener's research on the science of wellbeing.

** From researcher Patrick Hill of Carleton University, Canada. Published in "Psychological Science," a journal of the Association for Psychological Science

Estra Roell is a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, certified Life Purpose Coach, Advanced PSYCH-K® facilitator and Happiness Generator Facilitator. Estra helps clients get in touch with their passions and purpose and assists them to uncover and remove any blockages or old patterns that may be holding them back from living a life of joy, purpose and abundance. Estra is also a co-author of the books "101 Great Ways to Enhance Your Career" and "How to Create a Rich, Successful and Fulfilling Life." She's the author of the e-book, "4 Keys to Living Your Life Purpose."

Visit her website at http://www.americaslifepurposecoach.com/ to receive her free report on "Visioning Your Purpose and Heading Toward it Today." Sign up for a free "Life Purpose Strategy Session" at http://www.americaslifepurposecoach.com/strategy-session.

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Simon Sinek: Why Leaders Eat Last

The Power of Purpose

"Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path," writes oncologist Dr. Bernie Siegel in Peace, Love and Healing, your 'job on earth.' This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, that says, 'This is your path, this is how you can be the best human being possible.' If you follow it, you will achieve your full growth and full potential as a human being before you let go of the Tree of Life... "

I know Dr. Bernie is right, because I see the power of the inner voice daily in my clients, in my friends, and in my own life. My clients ask, "How can I access that voice, that wisdom, and get my feet started on the path?"

It's easy for any of us to get discouraged with suffering throughout the world: racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of rights of speech, health and human dignity, and just plain bigotry and nastiness).

My own reaction, years ago, was despair. "I can't stand it! So much suffering! So many issues! There's nothing significant I can do." Gradually, with the help of wiser people, I came to realize that I wasn't supposed to do it ALL. I just needed to do a part. But what part? Thus I began to learn about my inner wisdom, my unique birthright, my own peculiarities and talents.

We are all unique, with different genetic mixes, different fingerprints, different gifts and personalities, so let's suppose that there must be a reason for our differences; a Plan. Included in the Plan is a special place for each of us, and we have been designed, by a Super Intelligence, for a special task within the Plan. Supposing that Plan exists, what is your part in it? What were you designed to do? What's your "job on earth"?

If you feel confused or overwhelmed by life, or if your life seems to have no meaning, no important reason for your existence, spend some time pondering the Plan. Whether you call your Source a Higher Power, Spirit, or God, try reading Its mind a little: Imagine-If you were God, and you had created the human being that is you, what would you have created such a person for? It's an interesting puzzle, and the clues are in your unique characteristics. Are you a good listener? Then maybe counseling is your intended "job". Can you explain things well? Perhaps you're being directed toward teaching something. Are you a mathematical whiz? A musician? An artist? Can you make people laugh? All of these talents can be used in unique ways to make the world a little better. For example, if you like to make people laugh, and you enjoy elderly people, perhaps entertaining, volunteering, or working in a senior citizen's center is your special place. Or if you are a survivor of abuse or illness, perhaps your "job" lies in helping others survive.

Like me, many others have found it useful to ponder solve this riddle. The clues and hints are subtle, but they exist. The secret to your life's purpose is hidden in your heart's desire. Discover that, and you discover meaning, joy and purpose. There is a Plan, and you fit within it. No one has been omitted, every small link fits. As you discover your secret mission, and join the rhythm of the Wise Plan, life begins to run itself, doubt fades, and joy becomes a more frequent companion. Try listening to your heart, and to the obvious things about you, and you'll find it works.

" 'I give you something, you know not what, enrich it, you know not how, bring it back, you know not when. And remember, I shall be watching you.' Said the Sun to the newborn child." - so children's writer P.L. Travers expresses the mystery of finding your 'job on Earth.'

"To find in ourselves what makes life worth living is risky business," writes Marsha Sinetar in Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics: "for it means that once we know it we must seek it. It also means that without it life will be valueless."

Did you know that problems with compulsive eating, substance abuse, destructive addictive relationships, and obsessive behavior are most often misguided attempts to satisfy the heart's desire?

We are such amazing miracles of creation. Within each of us is a driving force, that will NOT give up and go away. We can attempt to drown it out with loud, raucous living, to anesthetize it with food, drink or drugs, to avoid it through some zealotry or other, to run from it by being frantically busy, to ignore it by working obsessively, to be too overwhelmed drama and agony to notice it; but as soon as the unavoidable quiet moment happens, there it is, urging us on. Often, people misread this uncomfortable inner restlessness and call it "fear" or "loneliness", but it is only the call of the heart. Until we acknowledge it, it will not allow us to be at peace. Believe it or not, our hearts are filled with purpose and meaning, and will constantly press us to discover our true desire and act upon it.

A spectrum is a wide range of something, like the colors light creates when beamed through a prism. A rainbow. My rainbow, the one I want to share with all of you, is the warrior rainbow. It's the wide range of people who are willing to face their own fear and anger, to brave the terrors of the inner deep, to challenge the naysayers and the criticizers, because they know how important it is to be who they really are. It's a broad spectrum of people, all colors, orientations, beliefs and experiences. Nothing elaborate is required to take your place in the warrior rainbow-just the courage to be you-to face your fears, to believe in yourself, to be willing to fight where you can, while remembering a rainbow warrior always takes prudent risks-self-destruction is not encouraged.

I find that many people who come to me for counseling are "autophobic" - afraid of themselves. They are afraid of feeling emotion, afraid of being forced to be alone with themselves, afraid to find out what is actually inside them. It actually comes down to fearing the power within. We run very fast, in an attempt to escape who we are.

"If the person insists on a certain program, and doesn't listen to the demands of his own heart, he's going to risk a schizophrenic crackup," warned philosopher Joseph Campbell. "Such a person has... aligned himself with a program for life, and it's not the one the body's interested in at all. The world is full of people who have stopped listening to themselves or have listened only to their neighbors to learn what they ought to do, how they ought to behave, and what the values are that they should be living for... my analysis... is that we would rather feel alive than be alive. Sometimes it kills you, to feel so alive out there on a battlefield somewhere, or in a corporate environment where it's quite clear that you're heading for a heart attack, and you don't change your course because you are living in that stream of energy and aliveness. You wind up bargaining your life away for it."

Reading through the wisdom of the ages, I have come across this advice time and time again. Humankind's greatest teachers insist that the costs of denying your heart's desire are far greater than anything that could happen by following it. Every time my clients overcome their reluctance to know who they are, they release an inner power that transforms their lives.

What better time to become a rainbow warrior than now? Here's Dr. Campbell's advice about how to begin: "You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don't know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don't know who your friends are, you don't know what you owe anybody, you don't know what anybody owes to you... a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be... the place of creative incubation... if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen... Where is your bliss station? You have to try to find it. Get a phonograph and put on the music that you really love, even if it's corny music that nobody else respects. Or get the book you like to read. In your sacred place you get the "thou" feeling of life... for the whole world... if you follow your bliss you put yourself on a track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."

I invite you to get acquainted with your heart's desire, join me in a resolution to surrender, to slow down and find out what is inside, straining to get out, longing to make contact with you. Make a "sacred space" for yourself, and spend a little time in it, at first reading or listening to music, and little by little listening to your heart. Perhaps it will change your life, as it has so many others. God has already blessed us, every one.


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