You Are That Which You Seek

When I first got on 'the path' in 2003, I was out of touch with what I would class as my true essence. I felt disconnected, powerless and I didn't know why my life was the way that it was.

The pain that I was in made me look for answers; I needed to find a way to change my life. I didn't know how I was going to do this, though; I just knew that I had to do something about what was going on.

A Miserable Existence

I was healthy, I had friends, somewhere to live and food on the table, yet I didn't feel as though I had an effect on my life or know what I was going to do with my life. To say that I felt lost would be an understatement.

I read numerous books and ended up working with a healer in 2007. As the years passed, I ended up working with numerous other healers and took different courses, and each time I hoped that my life would be transformed.

My Outlook

Ultimately, I believed that I was missing something and once I was able to attain it, my life would finally change. This doesn't mean that I wasn't ever told that this wasn't the case and what I was looking for was actually inside me.

Even so, due to what was going on for me, it wasn't possible for me to actually hear what I was being told and to feel it at the core of my being. What was stopping this from taking place was all of the 'stuff' that wasn't me.

The Purpose

When I was working with a healer a number of years ago, he said that the reason we were doing the work that we were doing was to let go of what was not me, so that I could connect to the truth of who I was. It was then the not about adding anything, it was about letting go of what wasn't the truth.

Intellectually, this was something that I already knew, but when I heard it this time something clicked at an emotional level. Still, it wasn't until a little while after that that what I heard went in even deeper, which caused me to feel different and to have a cascade of new insights.

It Made Sense

I would say that the reason that this made more sense at an emotional level and not just at an intellectual level was because of the growth that I had experienced. I got an even clearer sense that I didn't need anything to feel connected or powerful as this was my true nature.

In the main, what had caused me to feel so disconnected and powerless was the trauma that I experienced during my early years. And trying to change how I felt in order to feel connected and powerful, amongst other things, and although doing so made logical sense, just perpetuated how I felt, which makes me think of the following quote - what you resist is what will persist.


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