The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

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Three Steps to Inner Growth

Inner growth is defined as many things: life lessons, wisdom, knowledge, and evolution, to name a few.

It's typically acquired as a result of life experiences, and usually those particular experiences aren't very pleasant. Humans seem to be wired to learn through pain, which I guess makes a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, if everything was hunky dorey all the time and we felt good about all aspects of our life, why would we want to take a chance on ruining all that just to learn something?

Although inner growth occurs along a path, that path is rarely steady, even, or straight. However, it almost always consists of three main steps:

1. Awareness of the issue. Typically this awareness comes as a result of an uncomfortableness you feel when something's not working for you in your life. Most often this is something that causes you emotional pain rather than physical, although it could be both.

2. Gathering information about the issue. So, what happened to cause this new awareness? What exactly isn't working for you and how isn't it working? How can it be corrected? Those are just a few of the important questions you need to ask at this step. As you delve deeper into the issue, more questions will arise, some of which may surprise you.

3. Applying the information to the issue. This is the reward. This is where you get to see how well you've learned about the subject you chose to experience. This is the feel-good part of inner growth.

Let's use an example. Say, something like you got fired from your job.

1. Awareness. Well, that's pretty obvious. You don't have a job any more.

2. Gathering information. Why did you get fired? Was it something you were or were not doing? Is it personal or universal? If it's personal, what do you need to change about how you do your work or interact with your co-workers? If it's universal, such as an economic slowdown, what do you need to do to make yourself more valuable to an employer? These questions and others like them will garner you the information you need to continue on to the next and final step.

3. Applying the information. Make a list of the answers you came up with in Step 2 and use that information to create a to-do list. Maybe some of the changes you'll make are learning better communications skills, changing your work habits, improving your personal hygiene, taking classes to add to your working knowledge.

Of course, this applies to ALL inner growth, from the mundane such as the example of losing one's job, to the esoteric, such as emotional and spiritual growth.

Breaking down the learning experience into these three steps is like eating a ton of applesauce. It's a lot easier and less stressful when you do it one small bit at a time.

Aside from the inner growth and valuable insights and information you'll acquire, another benefit for you is that as you identify the step where you are in the process, you gain the satisfying knowledge that you're making progress.

What current learning opportunity are you experiencing? What are you learning about it? Which step are you at with your learning regarding the issue?

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IT'S POSSIBLE (Les Brown's Greatest Hits)

3 SECRETS To Unlock The Full POWER Of Your MIND TODAY With Joe Dispenza | Lewis Howes

10 Benefits of Knowing Your Purpose

"To love what you do and feel that it matters-how could anything be more fun?" ~ Katharine Graham

What is so important about having a purpose in life? Increasingly, people are looking for something more than just "making a living." They're realizing that there seems to be something missing in their lives and they're experiencing an inner sense of dissatisfaction. Many outwardly successful people describe feeling "off-track" in some way or a sense of being incomplete. That missing something is a sense of purpose.
Without purpose, we may drift through life directionless and unfulfilled. According to business psychologist and psychotherapist Douglas La Bier, "The consequences of not finding your purpose include chronic, lingering dissatisfaction; an absence of inner peace and a sense of not being fully in sync with your inner self."

Here are some of the benefits of connecting with and pursuing your purpose:

1. It gives you control over your own direction in life. You stop following the "shoulds" of family and society and set your own course for what you want to do with your life.

2. You're more likely to have a healthier outlook on life and be more resistant to stress.

3. You have more focus in life, making choices based on what's meaningful to you.

4. You have a greater sense of inner peace and satisfaction as you align with what you were "made for."

5. You live more in the flow of life, rather than in struggle. This isn't to say there aren't challenges but when you have a sense of meaning and purpose the challenges don't seem as large and you get through them more quickly and easily. You're better able to handle the ups and downs of life. *

6. You enjoy more satisfying relationships. A 2009 study of over 1,000 adults found that those with a high sense of meaning in their lives spent more time and attention on their loved ones and communities. They were more engaged with their families, neighbors and colleagues.

7. It redefines what success means to you. It's not about climbing the corporate ladder, a particular title or how much money you make. This isn't to say you can't make good money. When you're doing what you love you are actually more aligned to everything you want, including financial abundance. It simply means that the usual markers of success in our society are not as important as the inner satisfaction of how you're spending your time. Success is defined by what brings you joy.

8. You'll love knowing what you're doing is making a contribution to the larger whole. When you're "on purpose" you'll be doing what you love and utilizing your talents in a way that adds more positive energy to the world. Serving more than your own self-interest connects you to your higher self. It opens your heart and summons your spirit.

9. Your overall happiness increases and you have more of a zest for life!

10. Having a sense of purpose can help you live longer! **

If you've connected with your purpose, congratulations! You're already reaping the rewards of "doing what you love and feeling that it matters." Whatever it is that you've found, if it is your passion and has meaning for you, it does matter.

If you're still wondering what your purpose is, I encourage you to explore the possibilities. What do you love to do? What talents and skills do you enjoy using? You may want to enlist the help of a coach to go deeper. The world is waiting for your unique gifts!

* From Ed Diener's research on the science of wellbeing.

** From researcher Patrick Hill of Carleton University, Canada. Published in "Psychological Science," a journal of the Association for Psychological Science

Estra Roell is a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, certified Life Purpose Coach, Advanced PSYCH-K® facilitator and Happiness Generator Facilitator. Estra helps clients get in touch with their passions and purpose and assists them to uncover and remove any blockages or old patterns that may be holding them back from living a life of joy, purpose and abundance. Estra is also a co-author of the books "101 Great Ways to Enhance Your Career" and "How to Create a Rich, Successful and Fulfilling Life." She's the author of the e-book, "4 Keys to Living Your Life Purpose."

Visit her website at http://www.americaslifepurposecoach.com/ to receive her free report on "Visioning Your Purpose and Heading Toward it Today." Sign up for a free "Life Purpose Strategy Session" at http://www.americaslifepurposecoach.com/strategy-session.

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What's Stopping You From Dreaming Big

This was taken right around the time that my big dream to move to California was born. This was on a family trip to Disneyland & Universal Studios in California when I was 8 years old. At the time I was reading the Sweet Valley High books - remember those?! - where Jessica and Elizabeth lived in Malibu and drove around in a red convertible Fiat!! "THAT sounds amazing", I thought!!!

And so the dream was formed!

Funny enough my Mom found some of my old journals recently, where I had written down what I wanted to do when I grew up. Helping poor people and owning the Humane Society were written down. I was watching a TON of those commercials where the German Sheppard was basically crying, and they went on to tell us how much he'd been abused:(

I remember thinking that I was going to own all of the dogs in the world and live on a huge fenced in lot by the beach in Malibu, where people would have to be interviewed by me to see if they were fit to own a dog!

Some things never change. You can count on me to always let you know what is fair and what is not. I'm working on that...

What is that dream deep inside of you that's pulling at your heart strings? Read today's article below to learn where I landed on my dreams, what tends to get in the way of people making their dreams come true, and that it's absolutely okay to course correct along the way!

What's Stopping you from Dreaming Big?
See if you can tune into what you were wanting to do when you were little. I had the memory of California and the humane society, but I didn't realize I had also said that I wanted to help poor people! I remember saying in grade 6 (so age 11ish), that I wanted to either be a lawyer or a model, but not that part.

Well I definitely believe I'm doing my part to help poor people - I'm going to reframe that into helping people live abundant lives! - but the latter - the dog part - came about in a really interesting way!

And no, I don't own the humane society or all of the dogs in the world!

BUT I did work with a client once who is a K9 trainer who helps medics around the world care for the dogs who are on the job. Think guys jumping out of helicopters and landing on jet skis - she helps those types of handlers! Her training has helped to save countless animals, and as we worked on growing her business she was able to help even more dogs and people. When I was working with her awhile back, the realization set in that I was actually helping to make a difference in dogs' lives. It was a cool realization.

Throughout my childhood, whenever I felt "sad" I would think of going "home", which to me was palm trees, sunshine and the ocean. I'm not sure where this came from, but it was there. Like a knowing.

And being able to manifest something like that - that was such a big dream for me - has truly become my purpose - showing others we absolutely can be, do and have anything in life! We truly are limitless!

So what gets in the way?

Well a couple of things.

I do remember dating someone once and I shared with his parents that I wanted to help animals. I was pretty much shamed because they said there were so many people to help and why would I help animals instead?

Hmmm...

Insert doubt. I pretty much felt like a bad person for wanting to do that.

How often do we listen to other people and then talk ourselves right out of something as a result?

Don't get me wrong, feedback and validation are important, but not when it works against our dreams! Not when it talks us out of going after what lies in our hearts.

Our desires are given to us for a reason. It's how we know what our purpose is.

Most people spend tons of time and money trying to figure out their purpose, but we already have the answer inside of us if we would listen. It's our heart's desires, it's what makes us happy and what brings us joy. All we need to do is follow that and let it the rest unfold.

Which brings me to another reason people don't follow their dreams. They can't see "how" their dreams will happen and so they give up. This is one of the biggest areas to let go of in order to use the law of attraction to manifest our dreams and desires. It's not up to us! Look at the K9 medic story! I never could have dreamt that up in a million years!

Which leads me to it being okay to course correct. Our childhood and adulthood desires might look a little different, and that's okay.

I remember a friend saying to me once that I didn't actually make it to Malibu, but I was close! At least that's how I heard her say it anyway.

If we're being that knit picky we've lost sight of the whole thing. The dream was palm trees and the ocean in California, to which I achieved. I consciously chose which area I wanted to be in after living in California for 4 years. We visited San Diego a few times and absolutely loved it and the more laid-back lifestyle. It's what worked for us (insert also thinking about husbands and kids too - which I definitely didn't have at 8 years old;-)

It's absolutely okay to course correct and adapt your dreams as you go. I never would have thought I would be paid to be a speaker or start a second business in real estate investing when I first started my entrepreneurial efforts!

If we're shown the entire picture all at once it would be wayyy too overwhelming to bring to fruition anyway. But if we keep saying yes, one step at a time, to what brings us joy and what we're interested in, we will always be on track with creating a happy and purposeful life!

We just have to go for it!

xoxo

P.S. I don't know about you, but I have been so tired these last few days. I think something to do with a full moon?? Anyway, as I was sitting down to write this article it felt like pulling teeth. I didn't know how I was going to do it. But as I got started, I was reenergised writing about this topic. I got so excited writing about manifesting our dreams that I got a total energy burst! Another sure sign that we're on track with doing what we love ?

Chris Atley is an award winning coach, speaker and bestselling author. She has been featured on various media outlets such as Bloomberg Radio, Fox, ABC and the Manhattan Neighborhood Network.



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You Control Your Destiny

As all the organs and limbs form your body, and your body, your life, you, are a whole unit built by parts, so is Destiny a whole unit built by the parts which are the Seven Powers which also control our life. Unhealthy Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Laziness, Anger, Envy, Pride.

Every event in your life can be dealt with in different ways, ways that you can choose; to run or stay, to cower or stand strong, to steal or be honest, to defend or attack, to lie or tell the truth, each moment of your life in which you have to make a choice, Destiny is right there, to determine the direction your life will take from that moment onward based on your decision and action.

Destiny is not fixed, it is as fluid as the weather, changing at any moment, and you are the master of your destiny, you just don't know it.

In fact, you do not want to know that you are the master, because the responsibility is too great, the challenge too difficult.

With every choice you have to make, even if you think you do not have a choice, if you reflect on your past, you will see that you had a choice, you probably just didn't like the choice you knew was right.

Gravity is a power of this planet and universe. It keeps everything down to the ground. It also keeps the moon in orbit around the earth and the planets in orbit around the sun. It is always drawing everything to the lowest point.

In the same way, the powers draw your life and thoughts to their lowest point. For the powers are our weaknesses, imposed on us to keep us in the often messed up human condition, the weaknesses, self-centredness and evil nature that is part of being human.

The energy that we are, which some people call the soul, but I call 'my conscience', or 'better judgment' or is commonly referred to as 'common sense' a rare commodity in the human race, is the true nature of what we are.

The battle is between the powers which are our negative qualities, keeping us down to our lowest level which is the human ego, and, our essential energy which is light. Not light just in the sense of brightness, but of weight, light and weightless, not subject to gravity.

When an event happens, and you make your choice, Destiny reevaluates if you made an unpredictable choice, and re-determines your future.

If you made a bad financial choice, Greed and Wrath will grow with regret. If you made a good choice and made a lot of money, Pride takes over, which may give rise to more Envy of others. As your taste of success propels you to recognition, you may become jealous and envious of other people who get recognition as your desire for more grows, having tasted it.

With every decision you make, good or bad, one or more of the powers will rise or diminish in you, and with that, Destiny will turn your life in another direction.

By watching out for the Seven powers that control us, as the events of the day happen, being aware as those emotions and feelings arise in your mind, and choosing to act in a positive way, more humble or honest, supportive way, you can turn your destiny in yet a different direction.

You have the power to control your destiny in this way. The immediate outcome may not be what you want, it may not be good in the sense of your financial or love life, but Destiny is a plan for the rest of your life, until you change it again, so the immediate events are virtually irrelevant.

This is what you must keep in mind with every word and action, especially with the big things that go wrong, by seeing what direction they are taking you, to the seven powers or to the light and overcoming their negative manipulations.

Everyone knows that you do not take any material possessions when you die, but you do take your character. At your funeral, the number of people who mourn your death will be in proportion to your character, not your wealth if that was acquired by an asshole character. Instead of burying you with your gold and property, they will just write you a check to take with you to the grave.

Always remember that in the face of disaster, Destiny will make a new plan for your life based on your reaction. Bitter regrets and a desire for revenge or becoming depressed and hopeless will make one plan, but accepting the situation of your life as it is at that moment, as if you are just born that day with no past, facing it with courage and strength, will force Destiny to give you new ideas and creativity, new opportunities to rebuild, start over and become a better person.

You are master of your Destiny, like it or not, believe it or not. You can test the truth of this statement if you simply recall the past big events in your life, how you reacted and how that effected you for days or months after, and how that reaction determined your following actions. Did you push people away with negativity and anger, or did you inspire people with your courage and ability to dust yourself off and start again.

Just think about your past, and learn about people who have failed, or succeeded, and learn from their reactions, was it strength of character or did it build a massive ego.

Now you can decided, are you going to control your destiny from today onwards and defy gravity, let your essence rise up, or let gravity bring you emotionally down, with your life like a leaf blowing in the wind, letting the wind of destiny take you where it and the seven powers want you to go.

David Samuel is The Entrepreneur Monk, applying his understanding of the mind and emotions in business, relationships and personal growth.
Your mind makes you a success or failure, business skill is only a small part.
David resolved the riddle of why we do what is bad for us yet do not do what we know is beneficial and teaches that very effectively.
Read more about David EntrepreneurMonk.com
Have No Regrets, Look Forward



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Your Self-Talk And Mental Picture Determines The Level Of Dedication To Your Actions

Develop A New Consciousness And Awareness

What is the predominant self-talk that takes place in your mind? Is it affirmative or a disempowering voice that tries to convince you the world is a dark and scary place? It's easy to get pulled into this narrative because the voices are real and so we conclude they must be true. Or are they? I often use an exercise in seminars where I ask participants to tell me what they will think next. I explain, if they identify with their thoughts, surely they must know what their next thought will be. Unless there are psychics in the audience, rarely do people know what their next thought will be until it occurs. The point is: thoughts come and go from our minds and unless we give them meaning, they have little power in and of themselves.

So let's return to your self-talk. You might be accustomed to listening to the voice in your head, that perhaps you're no longer aware of the negative thoughts? Yet, that is what we must pay attention to if we want to change our circumstances. It's said: thoughts become things, meaning everything in the physical universe begins with a thought. The house or the apartment you live in exists because an architect had an idea for the design of the building. Your smartphone, laptop or computer, began its life with a thought. The point I wish to emphasise is: our reality is the result of our thinking, whether it be positive or negative. When negative circumstances show up, they merely shine the light on the truthfulness of our thoughts.

For example, consider a current problem in your life you want to improve. Do you believe there's a solution you haven't discovered yet? I'm hoping you will realise that the nature of your problem results from your thinking alone. This doesn't mean your thinking is flawed, it means you have directed your thoughts, whether conscious or unconscious to something unwanted and it has manifested as a result. Do you agree, if we want a different outcome, we must change our thoughts or at least our perception of the problem? It was Albert Einstein who once said: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." Put simply: We must develop a new consciousness and awareness in which to perceive our problems from a higher level. The same consciousness cannot solve the problems created with our current level of thinking.

Awareness Shines The Light On Our Thoughts

How does this relate to your self-talk or mental picture influencing your actions? If we replay the same script and visualise it through the lens of negativity, it must eventually manifest in our life. We agreed earlier that thoughts become things. What we think about and give our attention to, must it show up in our reality? I'm not talking about the law of attraction but universal laws that govern the framework of reality. The Hermetic aphorism states: "As within so without." Meaning, what happens at the level of thoughts is reflected in our reality. When we combine self-talk with a mental picture, we add colour to what appears in our life. We define it and give it energy, irrespective of whether it is a negative thought or a positive one. This is an idea the motivational psychologist and author Dr. Shad Helmstetter emphasises in What To Say When You Talk To Your Self when he says: "Self-Talk is a way to override our past negative programming by erasing or replacing it with conscious, positive new directions. Self-Talk is a practical way to live our lives by active intent rather than by passive acceptance."

People often ask: Does it mean I need to be attentive to every thought? No, since that requires a lot of mental energy best devoted to other things. The key is to observe our thoughts with an expanded awareness instead of remaining unconscious to them. Awareness is the key that unlocks us from the prison of negativity and self-destruction. It is the key to inner peace and freedom because it is the filter for our thoughts. Awareness shines the light on the congruency of our thoughts. If we wish to change our external conditions, being aware of what we think is the first step. I often use the example of a ship changing course midway through its journey in the ocean. First, the captain must change course and map new coordinates and relay this information to his crew. The same is true of ourselves: our awareness shines the light on our inner self-talk and mental picture. If we wish to change our future, it must begin by observing our mind and becoming conscious of our unconscious thoughts. It is only then, the level of dedication to our actions become congruent with a shift in awareness.

Whether you want to improve areas of your life or achieve your goals, my Coaching Program will offer you the improvements you're looking for. The sessions are one hour and geared towards: coaching and guidance, conversations and of course powerful transformation.

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