The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

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Do What Challenges You, Not What Makes You Happy

Happiness Is A By-Product Of Improved Self-Esteem

I'd like to push you outside your comfort zone, if you are willing to take the test? OK, let us start with a question: Are you happy right now? If not, what is the cause of your unhappiness? You might not know and that's fine, but how will you recognise happiness if you cannot distinguish being unhappy? This is not about blame or judgement, but you consented to be pushed outside your comfort zone. Shall we go on? Do you make an attempt to step outside your comfort zone often? Do you challenge yourself regularly? Some people push themselves by challenging their body, through gruelling sporting endeavours. But they may experience little or no personal growth because they become thrill-seeking junkies.

If it's happiness we seek, we ought to do what challenges us, not what makes us happy. Let me explain what I mean. If we pursue happiness without personal improvement, it is likely to be short lived. However, if we pursue personal growth, then happiness is a by-product of improved self-esteem. It requires developing self-confidence and resiliency, which enhances our self-esteem. Are you with me so far? Can you see how trying to chase happiness alone is unrealistic because there is no foundation for it to last? It is similar to pursuing wild adventures, hoping each one will be better than the next. We become addicted to the thrill ride, but rarely experience lasting happiness.

Those we consider successful, whether leaders in our community or others, spend years nurturing their personal growth. They are happy because their consciousness has expanded to encompass their positive character traits. When we pursue actions that reinforce our self-worth, then happiness is likely to be long lasting. For example, think about when you graduated from university or received a job promotion. I'm certain you experienced a sense of achievement and greater self-esteem, given your dedication to your study or career. The reward becomes evident in your commitment to improve the quality of your life.

Choose What Pushes You, Not What Makes You Happy

As we enhance our personal growth, our level of happiness grows in proportion. Have you noticed those who feel unappreciated are constantly miserable or complaining about the state of the world? They feel as though life is beating down upon them, instead of assuming control of their own life. Don't become one of those people because life is not about playing victim, since we have more power than we recognise. Yes, we will make mistakes and experience failures and setbacks. Yes, challenges are sewn into the fabric of life, to enhance our self-esteem, not crush it. Therefore, we have a choice: we can choose to grow relative to our problems, or retreat into despair. But if we choose the latter, we are certain of a life filled with misery and discontent.

I'm certain you don't want to be that person? I'm sensing, if you've read this far, you value your personal growth and want to improve your life. The key, is to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity and difficulties. We must get up when we encounter defeat since we gain wisdom, fortitude and inner resilience, to overcome our challenges. For example, in my 20s, life was smooth sailing. However, in my 30s, challenges were more prominent and instead of cowering in defeat, I walked towards them with a strong conviction to grow from my experiences. I've encountered a great deal of pain, heartache and obstacles throughout my life, but I've experienced immense personal growth and hence why I am able to share this wisdom with others.

So, I invite you to choose what pushes you, not what makes you happy because you may be happy now, but miserable in the long run. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, instead of running from it, lean into it. You may find it is more than you can tolerate and that's okay. Trust that you will grow in proportion to your challenges, as long as you don't give up on yourself. Trust, you have the capacity to overcome difficult problems. Trust, you will gain sufficient growth to expand your consciousness beyond your current state. Knowing this, I'd like you to spend 15 minutes examining your current challenges. See if you can notice what they're inviting you to learn about yourself? Is it: patience, understanding, self-reliance, resiliency, courage, etc.? It is when we learn to dance with life, that the song we sing will be expressed through our setbacks and challenges.

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Three Steps to Inner Growth

Inner growth is defined as many things: life lessons, wisdom, knowledge, and evolution, to name a few.

It's typically acquired as a result of life experiences, and usually those particular experiences aren't very pleasant. Humans seem to be wired to learn through pain, which I guess makes a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, if everything was hunky dorey all the time and we felt good about all aspects of our life, why would we want to take a chance on ruining all that just to learn something?

Although inner growth occurs along a path, that path is rarely steady, even, or straight. However, it almost always consists of three main steps:

1. Awareness of the issue. Typically this awareness comes as a result of an uncomfortableness you feel when something's not working for you in your life. Most often this is something that causes you emotional pain rather than physical, although it could be both.

2. Gathering information about the issue. So, what happened to cause this new awareness? What exactly isn't working for you and how isn't it working? How can it be corrected? Those are just a few of the important questions you need to ask at this step. As you delve deeper into the issue, more questions will arise, some of which may surprise you.

3. Applying the information to the issue. This is the reward. This is where you get to see how well you've learned about the subject you chose to experience. This is the feel-good part of inner growth.

Let's use an example. Say, something like you got fired from your job.

1. Awareness. Well, that's pretty obvious. You don't have a job any more.

2. Gathering information. Why did you get fired? Was it something you were or were not doing? Is it personal or universal? If it's personal, what do you need to change about how you do your work or interact with your co-workers? If it's universal, such as an economic slowdown, what do you need to do to make yourself more valuable to an employer? These questions and others like them will garner you the information you need to continue on to the next and final step.

3. Applying the information. Make a list of the answers you came up with in Step 2 and use that information to create a to-do list. Maybe some of the changes you'll make are learning better communications skills, changing your work habits, improving your personal hygiene, taking classes to add to your working knowledge.

Of course, this applies to ALL inner growth, from the mundane such as the example of losing one's job, to the esoteric, such as emotional and spiritual growth.

Breaking down the learning experience into these three steps is like eating a ton of applesauce. It's a lot easier and less stressful when you do it one small bit at a time.

Aside from the inner growth and valuable insights and information you'll acquire, another benefit for you is that as you identify the step where you are in the process, you gain the satisfying knowledge that you're making progress.

What current learning opportunity are you experiencing? What are you learning about it? Which step are you at with your learning regarding the issue?

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The Most Important of All Human Qualities Is a Sense of Hope

 It's interesting to observe that some people fray under the pressure of experience, but eventually learn they're called to mend their life along the way, whereas for others this experience is not liberating. Like Humpty Dumpty, they have a great fall and apparently are unable to learn new things or to unlearn old ones. Consequently, to be a human being is, one wonders, to find the nectar available to us in our own journey. But lots of people pretend that they already know everything they need to know.

It is really incredible that in this day and age human beings remain as foolish as ever they were. Meanwhile, let's remember that the apostle Paul warned us, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Rm. 12:2). He thought about our interior life. I do believe that the most important task in our lives is to make connections, that is, to make relations. Would there be another way to learn?

We live in a materialistic society and are trained from our earliest days to be acquisitive. No doubt, this materialistic outlook has seriously influenced our education. The other day, someone told me with sadness, "the only thing people are interested in today is earning more money." It seems that Mammon is worshipped as never before.

We have the task to live a good life without excuses. Although the moral implication of the attitudes of modern man is daunting, this should not dilute, or block, our search for companions for our journey. It is we who are responsible after all. So, it's foolish to blame others for our failures. The most important of all human qualities is a sense of hope. A sense of hope may take various forms, but the effect is always the same. It's only natural for healthy beings to look forward to something better.

Do you remember the Lilliputians and their neighbors attack each other because they couldn't agree which end to break an egg? Maybe aren't we all living like that? This is one of the chief functions of satire and irony. They enable us to see that many of our actions are comic or absurd. We are always reminded by good mentors that a happy and fulfilling life is not really far removed from ourselves.

The sense of hope must be single out as man's most important quality because it is associated with life itself. There's no future for human beings without hope.

https://ezinearticles.com/?The-Most-Important-of-All-Human-Qualities-Is-a-Sense-of-Hope&id=10291825 

Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix | Tasha Eurich | TEDxMileHigh

Developing Self-Belief Doesn't Happen Overnight

If someone is in a position where they lack self-belief, they may look into what they can do to develop it. Then again, they could merely put up with what is taking place and do their best to carry on as normal.

The reason for this is that they may believe that there is nothing that they can do about what is going on. Through having this outlook, they are not going to be able to transform their life.

Reaching Out

If someone does look into what they can do to develop self-belief, there is the chance that they will want to develop it as soon as possible. This could show that they have been this way for a very long time and are not willing to put up with how they experience life for any longer.

Alternatively, it could show that they find it hard to be patient, having a strong need to experience instant gratification. As a result of this, if they come across a book or a course that promises to change their life in a very short period of time, they might not hesitate to invest in it.

One Direction

After taking this step, they may find that their self-doubt starts to disappear and their self-belief rapidly increases. One could then find that as soon as they get an idea, it isn't long until they take the first step.

Not only will they see themselves as being capable of achieving something but they will know that they will be able to handle any setbacks that arise. Quite simply, being this way will allow them to be their own best friend as opposed to their own worst enemy.

Another Experience

If one was to take this route, they may find that they don't go from having very little self-belief to being full of self-belief in a short period of time. They may find that this is something that takes time.

This could be the case if they try something that promises to transform their life overnight or if they try another approach altogether. It will then be important for them to patient and persistent.

Being Realistic

Having a balanced outlook will make it easier for them to take the steps that they need to take to move forward and to not expect too much too soon. There can be moments when they are full of self-belief and moments when they struggle to find the strength within them, but they won't give up on themselves.

What they could also do to stay on the right track and to build up their self-belief is to find someone who believes in them. The support that is provided by someone like this will gradually be internalised, allowing one to develop self-belief even faster than they would otherwise.

Final Thoughts

What this illustrates is how important external support is when it comes to making progress in life. If one tries to do everything by themselves, their life is going to be far harder than it needs to be.

Reaching out for support is the sensible thing to do; it is not a sign that one is weak or incapable. Further, realising that self-belief is something that takes time to develop and is not something that is developed in a weekend or a week will save one from suffering unnecessarily.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/


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How To Live Your Full Potential Every Day

Many people, who seek assistance to improve their lives reveal fear is one of the most prominent reason. Fear oftentimes leads to regrets. In fact, regrets can be carried from previous incarnations along with other feelings that weren't resolved.

Regret is the final hurdle that people need to resolve after fear. Transforming or Transmuting any regrets will bring a new perspective, including regrets from previous incarnations.

Even when I've helped people to get past the fear, there were some who still didn't live the life they deserve. The reason is they're living in regret about something either in this incarnation or previous incarnations.

"Shoulda done this sooner."

"Woulda done this differently."

"Coulda done this better."

What are your shoulda, woulda, coulda regrets?

When you hear those words in your head or you say them out loud, you're living in regret. Dwelling in it means you are holding yourself back from the brightness in your life that wants to shine through.

It's like closing the blinds on the beautiful sunshine, while you lament missing today's sunrise.

Regret keeps you living in the past. It stops you from standing in your full power at the moment.

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. You have the power to make new choices. And you deserve to have all the opportunities those new choices will bring.

When you find yourself living in regret, recognize it as an opportunity to take action and make a different decision, so that the next moment brings you closer to the health, wealth and opportunities you desire and deserve.

Three tips to eliminate the shoulda, woulda, coulda:

Ask yourself if this is reality or an emotional response. Both are equally valid and important to access. If it's reality, examine the situation and consider each step you took on the path that brought you to this regret. How can you avoid taking the same steps in the future? If it's emotional, dig in and figure out which emotions are being triggered and how they are impacting you.

Ask someone to help you find a new perspective. When you are in the middle of a tough situation, particularly an emotional one, it's difficult to see other options. Napoleon Hill said, "Out of every adversity comes a seed of equal or greater benefit." When you're standing in front of a tree with your nose against the bark, you can't see anything else. If you have someone who can pull you back, only a little bit, a new perspective will reveal a whole forest of possibilities.

Take action. Once you have uncovered your regret, how you got there and what's driving the emotion that's causing you pain; and you have a new perspective that allows you to make a new choice in your life; it's time to take action. What steps can you take to turn the adversity of regret into your seed of greater benefit? Outline your steps and then take that first one!

When you take the steps above to turn your regret into positive action, you will start living a bigger and bolder life. That means you will face change, which can be uncomfortable for a while. However, in the final analysis it is well worth the effort.

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life.

Are you willing to take the steps required to claim your happiness, success, fulfillment, and empowerment? Will you take advantage of the opportunity to create a new reality for your life?

It's time to SHIFT and get prepared for what's coming up for your life... so I want you to put your heart and soul into paying close attention to how much mental, emotional and physical pain you are in. Then, step by step you can make the transformation gently, easily, and without having to deal with the mental and emotional pain and stress of not knowing what to do, not feeling your best, and all the other OLD WAYS that are holding you back. You might need to ask for assistance to clear out the self-doubt, fear, guilt, shame or unworthiness.

This is an investment in your health, happiness, success, fulfillment, and empowerment. Following the principles in this process will change your life forever and I want you to experience it yourself as soon as possible. Remember only you can take care of your happiness and mental, emotional, physical health and professional success.

You can do it! Call me if you need assistance to transmute any symptoms no matter how dire, how long you have struggled or other things you have done.

Henry Ford, who created the Model T automobile in 1908 and went on to develop the assembly line mode of production, which revolutionized the automotive industry stated, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't you are right."

For your convenience, I offer a 20-minute *FREE* no-obligation phone conversation to answer your questions and discuss how you can discover and create personal and professional success. And you will receive value in the 20-minute conversation.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Metaphysician - Certified Hypnosis Practitioner, Author, and Speaker. Dr. Dorothy facilitates clearing blocks, fears and limiting beliefs. You can live the life you desire. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net



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Why Those Who Are Most Responsive To Change, Will Always Thrive

Go With The Natural Flow Of Events

What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change of circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Is it something you're missing out on, such as being in contact with loved ones, a friend, work colleagues or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear or something else? How are you responding to them?

I realise I'm asking a lot of questions but it's important we understand what is the cause of our emotions. Now, granted, you might say I'm angry and frustrated being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn't be wrong to feel this way, however what is the fundamental reason behind it? You see, the emotions you're experiencing may not only be attributed to separation. There could be something deeper beneath the surface that warrants your investigation. It is my experience, working with individuals over the years, that those who are most responsive to change always thrive.

These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace what life throws at them. It doesn't mean they like what is happening. And I'm not suggesting you like what is taking place either because that would be remiss of me. What I am inviting you to do, is accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of it. Is this something you're willing to give your attention to? Could you entertain the idea that you needn't like your current circumstances but stop resisting it?

Resistance is futile because ultimately reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life ought to meet our expectations of how things should unfold? Life is a self-sustaining system, operating with its own natural laws. We must learn to abide by them because we are a drop in an ocean of a vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes, what we initially experience is chaos expanding to create order. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and go with the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being grateful. It's the idea of looking for hidden gems contained within unexpected events.

Life Is Not Personal

Assuredly, what we give our attention to becomes our focal point. So, if you direct your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and call it into your experience. But this comes at a cost to your well-being, which is paramount to your mental and physical health. Responding to change affirmatively means that even though circumstances are not as we like them to be, we can turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the silver lining in every experience, even if we have to look hard, there will always be a positive lesson.

Listen, life is unfair. When we were protected by our parents or guardians as youngsters, we may have assumed life was fair. But we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read that again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of life's ecosystem and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.

So, back to my earlier questions about what you're resisting right now. How can you take that experience and find a hidden treasure amongst it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions, to explore what is at the heart of your resistance? I assure you, this practice alone, can change your life more than you realise.

It will empower you to control your emotions and understand their underlying motive. You needn't struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will seldom come in the form you hope for. They are often disguised as: hardship, pain, struggle and disappointment and requires we face them with optimism instead resistance. I often asked myself: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it in their stride? Why don't these people let their experiences get them down? What do they know that others don't?

I'm not convinced that successful people are any wiser or more intelligent than the rest of us. I'm certain however, they have experienced heartache, suffering and misfortunes to know that hardships don't come to disturb our peace, but to anchor us in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. That is why those who are most responsive to change will thrive because they move with their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give that gift to yourself right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on beneath the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. It is only then you will realise that thriving isn't a state of mind but a way of being in the world.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!

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You've Got To Stop Living In The Place Of Fear And Doubt

Be Careful What You Give Your Attention To

Fear and doubt are like uninvited guests, who show up for the night and overstay their welcome. They have nothing to impart other than a distorted reality. We fear what we don't understand and then doubt ourselves. This steals away the preciousness of the present moment because we succumb to a fictitious reality. Have you experienced something like this, whereby fear and doubt convinced you of something that wasn't true? You wouldn't be wrong in succumbing to this scenario because they collaborate to pull us into a pit of despair.

But it needn't be this way, since we can choose to see things differently. For example, when the Coronavirus pandemic started, there was a lot of fear and negativity perpetuated by the mainstream media. They hijack our attention by reporting bits and pieces of the actual story. I immediately turned my attention to the health professionals, such as infectious disease experts, epidemiologists, virologists and senior health experts. As time went on, I was reassured that what the media was depicting was not reality but a false narrative to sell a story. I'm not suggesting the virus is anything to ignore, but we must be careful what we give our attention to because it may not be serving our best interests.

Think about the areas of your life where fear and doubt have gained a foothold? Perhaps it is your relationships, finances, career, your dreams and highest ambitions? If I asked you to journal the narrative fear and doubt promote, what would you write? Is it lack of choice? Self worthiness or self-esteem? It's important we understand what we're up against, so we can deal with it effectively. To overcome fear and doubt, we must first understand how they operate in our life. They try to undermine us, like a virus weaving its way through our thoughts. Either way, we must confront our limiting beliefs and analyse them for what they are; an unrealistic plan to sabotage us.

We've Got To Show Up Fully For Our Dreams

Fear and doubt offer nothing in return, other than to steal our joy and happiness. In contrast, confidence and encouragement are allies that work together to support our goals. We ought to sow the seeds of these virtues in our psyche and extract fear and doubt from our minds. Fear is the enemy of confidence because it tries to convince us of an unfavourable future. However, confidence moves towards tomorrow armed with conviction to achieve excellence. This doesn't mean we must eradicate fear from our lives but acknowledge it for what it is. As the self-help author Susan Jeffers once wrote: Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway.

That is, we walk towards our fears and take inspired action, regardless. Because every time we overcome fear, we silence our doubts and lay to rest the hijackers of tomorrow. Fear and doubt will try to steal our best laid plans. But it is not enough to ignore them, we must face them directly and change the narrative they promote. Consider this in your own life. What have you overcome in recent times that fear and doubt tried to sell you? Perhaps it was entering a new relationship, starting your own business, or leaving a lucrative career? Sometimes fear and doubt can show up as an unwanted gift, presented by those we love. Family and friends will convince us not to change careers or get intimately involved with that person because they are no good for us.

But this is like asking those who've never been where you're going for directions. You assume because they are wiser, they hold the answers, but they may not be the answers for you. So, question everything and test it for yourself, to see whether it will work for you. It is better to make a hundred mistakes on your own, than live inauthentically based on other people's opinions. We've got to show up for our dreams and command them fully, irrespective of what others think. It requires moving through our fears and doubts, which accompanying us on this journey of life. Because when we reach our ultimate destination, we will have overcome these mountainous hurdles through hard work and perseverance.

Knowing this, I invite you to make time to examine areas of your life where fear and doubt have infiltrated. What is the message they're trying to sell you? Is it real? Can you be sure that fear and doubt is real? What do you want for your life? Write down two columns and examine your fears and doubts on one side and your vision and purpose on the other. After you've explored each area, sit with your feelings and note which area you are leaning towards? Do you want to be an 80-year-old who was allowed their fears and doubts to overcome them, or do you want to be an 80-year-old who has lived the best version of their life? Either way, you get to decide the storyline for your life, so make it a remarkable one!

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? If so, download your FREE copy of my eBook NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!


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The Power of Purpose

"Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path," writes oncologist Dr. Bernie Siegel in Peace, Love and Healing, your 'job on earth.' This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, that says, 'This is your path, this is how you can be the best human being possible.' If you follow it, you will achieve your full growth and full potential as a human being before you let go of the Tree of Life... "

I know Dr. Bernie is right, because I see the power of the inner voice daily in my clients, in my friends, and in my own life. My clients ask, "How can I access that voice, that wisdom, and get my feet started on the path?"

It's easy for any of us to get discouraged with suffering throughout the world: racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of rights of speech, health and human dignity, and just plain bigotry and nastiness).

My own reaction, years ago, was despair. "I can't stand it! So much suffering! So many issues! There's nothing significant I can do." Gradually, with the help of wiser people, I came to realize that I wasn't supposed to do it ALL. I just needed to do a part. But what part? Thus I began to learn about my inner wisdom, my unique birthright, my own peculiarities and talents.

We are all unique, with different genetic mixes, different fingerprints, different gifts and personalities, so let's suppose that there must be a reason for our differences; a Plan. Included in the Plan is a special place for each of us, and we have been designed, by a Super Intelligence, for a special task within the Plan. Supposing that Plan exists, what is your part in it? What were you designed to do? What's your "job on earth"?

If you feel confused or overwhelmed by life, or if your life seems to have no meaning, no important reason for your existence, spend some time pondering the Plan. Whether you call your Source a Higher Power, Spirit, or God, try reading Its mind a little: Imagine-If you were God, and you had created the human being that is you, what would you have created such a person for? It's an interesting puzzle, and the clues are in your unique characteristics. Are you a good listener? Then maybe counseling is your intended "job". Can you explain things well? Perhaps you're being directed toward teaching something. Are you a mathematical whiz? A musician? An artist? Can you make people laugh? All of these talents can be used in unique ways to make the world a little better. For example, if you like to make people laugh, and you enjoy elderly people, perhaps entertaining, volunteering, or working in a senior citizen's center is your special place. Or if you are a survivor of abuse or illness, perhaps your "job" lies in helping others survive.

Like me, many others have found it useful to ponder solve this riddle. The clues and hints are subtle, but they exist. The secret to your life's purpose is hidden in your heart's desire. Discover that, and you discover meaning, joy and purpose. There is a Plan, and you fit within it. No one has been omitted, every small link fits. As you discover your secret mission, and join the rhythm of the Wise Plan, life begins to run itself, doubt fades, and joy becomes a more frequent companion. Try listening to your heart, and to the obvious things about you, and you'll find it works.

" 'I give you something, you know not what, enrich it, you know not how, bring it back, you know not when. And remember, I shall be watching you.' Said the Sun to the newborn child." - so children's writer P.L. Travers expresses the mystery of finding your 'job on Earth.'

"To find in ourselves what makes life worth living is risky business," writes Marsha Sinetar in Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics: "for it means that once we know it we must seek it. It also means that without it life will be valueless."

Did you know that problems with compulsive eating, substance abuse, destructive addictive relationships, and obsessive behavior are most often misguided attempts to satisfy the heart's desire?

We are such amazing miracles of creation. Within each of us is a driving force, that will NOT give up and go away. We can attempt to drown it out with loud, raucous living, to anesthetize it with food, drink or drugs, to avoid it through some zealotry or other, to run from it by being frantically busy, to ignore it by working obsessively, to be too overwhelmed drama and agony to notice it; but as soon as the unavoidable quiet moment happens, there it is, urging us on. Often, people misread this uncomfortable inner restlessness and call it "fear" or "loneliness", but it is only the call of the heart. Until we acknowledge it, it will not allow us to be at peace. Believe it or not, our hearts are filled with purpose and meaning, and will constantly press us to discover our true desire and act upon it.

A spectrum is a wide range of something, like the colors light creates when beamed through a prism. A rainbow. My rainbow, the one I want to share with all of you, is the warrior rainbow. It's the wide range of people who are willing to face their own fear and anger, to brave the terrors of the inner deep, to challenge the naysayers and the criticizers, because they know how important it is to be who they really are. It's a broad spectrum of people, all colors, orientations, beliefs and experiences. Nothing elaborate is required to take your place in the warrior rainbow-just the courage to be you-to face your fears, to believe in yourself, to be willing to fight where you can, while remembering a rainbow warrior always takes prudent risks-self-destruction is not encouraged.

I find that many people who come to me for counseling are "autophobic" - afraid of themselves. They are afraid of feeling emotion, afraid of being forced to be alone with themselves, afraid to find out what is actually inside them. It actually comes down to fearing the power within. We run very fast, in an attempt to escape who we are.

"If the person insists on a certain program, and doesn't listen to the demands of his own heart, he's going to risk a schizophrenic crackup," warned philosopher Joseph Campbell. "Such a person has... aligned himself with a program for life, and it's not the one the body's interested in at all. The world is full of people who have stopped listening to themselves or have listened only to their neighbors to learn what they ought to do, how they ought to behave, and what the values are that they should be living for... my analysis... is that we would rather feel alive than be alive. Sometimes it kills you, to feel so alive out there on a battlefield somewhere, or in a corporate environment where it's quite clear that you're heading for a heart attack, and you don't change your course because you are living in that stream of energy and aliveness. You wind up bargaining your life away for it."

Reading through the wisdom of the ages, I have come across this advice time and time again. Humankind's greatest teachers insist that the costs of denying your heart's desire are far greater than anything that could happen by following it. Every time my clients overcome their reluctance to know who they are, they release an inner power that transforms their lives.

What better time to become a rainbow warrior than now? Here's Dr. Campbell's advice about how to begin: "You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don't know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don't know who your friends are, you don't know what you owe anybody, you don't know what anybody owes to you... a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be... the place of creative incubation... if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen... Where is your bliss station? You have to try to find it. Get a phonograph and put on the music that you really love, even if it's corny music that nobody else respects. Or get the book you like to read. In your sacred place you get the "thou" feeling of life... for the whole world... if you follow your bliss you put yourself on a track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in the field of your bliss, and they open the doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."

I invite you to get acquainted with your heart's desire, join me in a resolution to surrender, to slow down and find out what is inside, straining to get out, longing to make contact with you. Make a "sacred space" for yourself, and spend a little time in it, at first reading or listening to music, and little by little listening to your heart. Perhaps it will change your life, as it has so many others. God has already blessed us, every one.


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