The Five Levels of Deep Habit And Behavior Change

 We develop patterns, which we call habits.

They're like being bundled up in warm blankets with soft pillows on a cold morning; comforting, supportive, relaxing. Who would want to willingly change that? Continuing the metaphor, it can feel like moving to a sleeping bed on a hard floor, no air mattress, and the heater isn't working.

Since we are in a period of paradigm-shifting, life-altering, stress-inducing, overwhelming change, I thought it might be helpful to understand why it's so difficult to get new habits to stick.

Firstly, remind thyself that all change is spawned of fear, force, or pain.

No one wakes up thinking, "I love my life! Let me see how I can change it." We change because we see no alternative and because the "old system" wasn't cutting it anymore. Maybe times are different. Maybe we're different. But something must adjust, and sadly it's us. Being inspired to change by "negative" feelings also automatically puts us at a disadvantage as we're not thinking clearly to begin with.

To that end, know that there are actually five levels we must tweak, each deeper than the one prior if we're going to make our sleeping bag become a cushy, fluffy bed.

The simplest, easiest adjustment is Environment; defined as that which "I see."

Let's say you've decided to be socially responsible and be concerned with the greater good by wearing a facemask. However, each time you leave the house, you forget your mask. An example of Environment change could be relocating your mask to a hook by the front door. Now, it will prompt you to wear it. Simple. Easy.

But it might not stay with you if you don't change the next level: Behaviors, that which "I do." If I don't modify those, my Environment reverts to unsupportive.

Continuing with our illustration, upon returning home, you remove your mask and put it in the washing machine. That makes sense, but that behavior means that when you leave, Environment is no longer provoking you to wear a mask. Consequently, a Behavior change must take place, such as obtaining a few masks and placing them all at the front door, plus remembering to hang cleaned masks there when you finish the laundry. This alleviates the difficulty of "forgetting" to wear one.

"But, I can't keep remembering to put masks all around my house," you might reply. Welcome to level three: Capabilities, that which you "can" or "cannot" do.

Your perceived - and that's the operative word - Capabilities determine which Behaviors will stick or fade.

If your internal dialog is, "I don't have time to do this," or "I have too much else to do," you'll give up new Behaviors, putting you back to square one.

Capabilities are born of Beliefs, level four. Beliefs, despite appearing as facts to us, are really not.

They are feelings. They are not true for all but are to us. Continuing in our mask saga, if my Belief is that "masks are unnecessary and a pain in the behind" (um, poor choice of body parts for masks but you get my drift... ), then you will consider it unimportant and pointless to amend your Capabilities to reinforce that you can indeed managing a couple masks. Resultingly, new Behaviors fade, Environment becomes unsupportive, old habits returns. If my Belief changes to "I feel it's important to wear a mask, no matter how awkward," Capabilities shift, producing a positive domino effect.

With only a few hundred words, I can't really delve deep into the concept of Beliefs, as there are so many extenuating conditions that affect them. \

However, the Universal Truth they have in common is that they are the outgrowth of the deepest level, Identity, those words following "I am... "

We possess multiple Identities in which we adorn ourselves, depending on conditions. For example, my Identity of "Romantic" is certainly welcome and appropriate when it's my wife, yet would be out of line with my co-worker. Identities, like outfits, adjust to the settings in which we find ourselves. Rounding out the now over worn mask tale, if my Identity is "I am too busy to deal with this," my Belief might be "this is ridiculous;" yet again collapse the dominos. Should I alter my Identity to "I am socially responsible and concerned about spreading the virus," then Beliefs correct to "I feel it's important to figure out a way to do this." My Capabilities will now line up that empowerment. Behaviors adapt. Environment adjusts. New habit locks in.

Whether talking about pandemics, weight loss, productivity, or personal relationships, the pattern remains the same.

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Do What Challenges You, Not What Makes You Happy

Happiness Is A By-Product Of Improved Self-Esteem

I'd like to push you outside your comfort zone, if you are willing to take the test? OK, let us start with a question: Are you happy right now? If not, what is the cause of your unhappiness? You might not know and that's fine, but how will you recognise happiness if you cannot distinguish being unhappy? This is not about blame or judgement, but you consented to be pushed outside your comfort zone. Shall we go on? Do you make an attempt to step outside your comfort zone often? Do you challenge yourself regularly? Some people push themselves by challenging their body, through gruelling sporting endeavours. But they may experience little or no personal growth because they become thrill-seeking junkies.

If it's happiness we seek, we ought to do what challenges us, not what makes us happy. Let me explain what I mean. If we pursue happiness without personal improvement, it is likely to be short lived. However, if we pursue personal growth, then happiness is a by-product of improved self-esteem. It requires developing self-confidence and resiliency, which enhances our self-esteem. Are you with me so far? Can you see how trying to chase happiness alone is unrealistic because there is no foundation for it to last? It is similar to pursuing wild adventures, hoping each one will be better than the next. We become addicted to the thrill ride, but rarely experience lasting happiness.

Those we consider successful, whether leaders in our community or others, spend years nurturing their personal growth. They are happy because their consciousness has expanded to encompass their positive character traits. When we pursue actions that reinforce our self-worth, then happiness is likely to be long lasting. For example, think about when you graduated from university or received a job promotion. I'm certain you experienced a sense of achievement and greater self-esteem, given your dedication to your study or career. The reward becomes evident in your commitment to improve the quality of your life.

Choose What Pushes You, Not What Makes You Happy

As we enhance our personal growth, our level of happiness grows in proportion. Have you noticed those who feel unappreciated are constantly miserable or complaining about the state of the world? They feel as though life is beating down upon them, instead of assuming control of their own life. Don't become one of those people because life is not about playing victim, since we have more power than we recognise. Yes, we will make mistakes and experience failures and setbacks. Yes, challenges are sewn into the fabric of life, to enhance our self-esteem, not crush it. Therefore, we have a choice: we can choose to grow relative to our problems, or retreat into despair. But if we choose the latter, we are certain of a life filled with misery and discontent.

I'm certain you don't want to be that person? I'm sensing, if you've read this far, you value your personal growth and want to improve your life. The key, is to keep moving forward, even in the face of adversity and difficulties. We must get up when we encounter defeat since we gain wisdom, fortitude and inner resilience, to overcome our challenges. For example, in my 20s, life was smooth sailing. However, in my 30s, challenges were more prominent and instead of cowering in defeat, I walked towards them with a strong conviction to grow from my experiences. I've encountered a great deal of pain, heartache and obstacles throughout my life, but I've experienced immense personal growth and hence why I am able to share this wisdom with others.

So, I invite you to choose what pushes you, not what makes you happy because you may be happy now, but miserable in the long run. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, instead of running from it, lean into it. You may find it is more than you can tolerate and that's okay. Trust that you will grow in proportion to your challenges, as long as you don't give up on yourself. Trust, you have the capacity to overcome difficult problems. Trust, you will gain sufficient growth to expand your consciousness beyond your current state. Knowing this, I'd like you to spend 15 minutes examining your current challenges. See if you can notice what they're inviting you to learn about yourself? Is it: patience, understanding, self-reliance, resiliency, courage, etc.? It is when we learn to dance with life, that the song we sing will be expressed through our setbacks and challenges.

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10 Reasons Why Honesty Is Important to Be Successful

You want the people with whom you come into contact to accurately think of you as being an honest person. Anything less is unacceptable if you want to be successful in all aspects of your life.

If you are dishonest everyone with whom you come into contact (friends, relatives, employers and others) will ignore or dismiss everything you say and do as being false and unreliable. Who can build and achieve what they want with such a character flaw? The answer is obvious.

Following is a brief list of reasons why honesty, as a character trait, is so important:

1. You would be considered untrustworthy and your chances of getting the job you want is severely limited if you are dishonest. Employers can't afford to hire people who are less than honest. Employees who are found to be deceitful are destined to be fired.

2. Many times, untruthfulness or dishonesty is unlawful. Lying could land you in jail or facing fines. The same is true when applying for a loan, reporting sales tax or supplying information for a loan.

3. Being known as a person who misrepresents the truth is a perception that is hard to reverse. Trustworthy behavior on the part of an individual is highly valued by our society.

4. Your potential to achieve success in all aspects of your life is severely limited if dishonesty is part of your character. You would limit your opportunities. Others would maintain their distance from you.

5. Being less than honest can and will be hurtful to others and cause great pain to loved ones. Your personal relationships would be either harmed or destroyed.

6. Others are inclined to describe or recommend you as a dependable individual who can be trusted when you are consistently authentic. Your words carry greater weight, as you are known to be a person who tells the truth. Your chances of advancement and credibility are enhanced.

7. Being deceitful with others naturally lowers your self-esteem and requires energy for you to maintain the false appearance of authenticity. Some people suggest that promoting falsehoods could actually be harmful to your physical and emotional health.

8. You will suffer a lack of respect from a poor reputation. Others will avoid contact with you personally and professionally.

9. Your chances of being able to improve your life (financially and socially) will be severely limited. People who are known for misrepresenting facts and being disingenuous are avoided.

10. Your bearing false witness is harmful to society in general. A misleading behavior by an individual can actually have far reaching ripple effects on society.

Any aspirations you might have are hampered by a lack of honesty.

Choosing to cultivate honesty as one of your characters traits is a necessity if you want to be successful in life. So is your reputation and emotional well being.

Many people go through life wondering why circumstances fail to break their way. Frequently it's his or her character flaw, such as lying, or limits a chance for success.

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Three Steps to Inner Growth

Inner growth is defined as many things: life lessons, wisdom, knowledge, and evolution, to name a few.

It's typically acquired as a result of life experiences, and usually those particular experiences aren't very pleasant. Humans seem to be wired to learn through pain, which I guess makes a lot of sense when you think about it. After all, if everything was hunky dorey all the time and we felt good about all aspects of our life, why would we want to take a chance on ruining all that just to learn something?

Although inner growth occurs along a path, that path is rarely steady, even, or straight. However, it almost always consists of three main steps:

1. Awareness of the issue. Typically this awareness comes as a result of an uncomfortableness you feel when something's not working for you in your life. Most often this is something that causes you emotional pain rather than physical, although it could be both.

2. Gathering information about the issue. So, what happened to cause this new awareness? What exactly isn't working for you and how isn't it working? How can it be corrected? Those are just a few of the important questions you need to ask at this step. As you delve deeper into the issue, more questions will arise, some of which may surprise you.

3. Applying the information to the issue. This is the reward. This is where you get to see how well you've learned about the subject you chose to experience. This is the feel-good part of inner growth.

Let's use an example. Say, something like you got fired from your job.

1. Awareness. Well, that's pretty obvious. You don't have a job any more.

2. Gathering information. Why did you get fired? Was it something you were or were not doing? Is it personal or universal? If it's personal, what do you need to change about how you do your work or interact with your co-workers? If it's universal, such as an economic slowdown, what do you need to do to make yourself more valuable to an employer? These questions and others like them will garner you the information you need to continue on to the next and final step.

3. Applying the information. Make a list of the answers you came up with in Step 2 and use that information to create a to-do list. Maybe some of the changes you'll make are learning better communications skills, changing your work habits, improving your personal hygiene, taking classes to add to your working knowledge.

Of course, this applies to ALL inner growth, from the mundane such as the example of losing one's job, to the esoteric, such as emotional and spiritual growth.

Breaking down the learning experience into these three steps is like eating a ton of applesauce. It's a lot easier and less stressful when you do it one small bit at a time.

Aside from the inner growth and valuable insights and information you'll acquire, another benefit for you is that as you identify the step where you are in the process, you gain the satisfying knowledge that you're making progress.

What current learning opportunity are you experiencing? What are you learning about it? Which step are you at with your learning regarding the issue?

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6 Things I Wish I'd Learned At 20 | Robin Sharma

The Most Important of All Human Qualities Is a Sense of Hope

 It's interesting to observe that some people fray under the pressure of experience, but eventually learn they're called to mend their life along the way, whereas for others this experience is not liberating. Like Humpty Dumpty, they have a great fall and apparently are unable to learn new things or to unlearn old ones. Consequently, to be a human being is, one wonders, to find the nectar available to us in our own journey. But lots of people pretend that they already know everything they need to know.

It is really incredible that in this day and age human beings remain as foolish as ever they were. Meanwhile, let's remember that the apostle Paul warned us, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Rm. 12:2). He thought about our interior life. I do believe that the most important task in our lives is to make connections, that is, to make relations. Would there be another way to learn?

We live in a materialistic society and are trained from our earliest days to be acquisitive. No doubt, this materialistic outlook has seriously influenced our education. The other day, someone told me with sadness, "the only thing people are interested in today is earning more money." It seems that Mammon is worshipped as never before.

We have the task to live a good life without excuses. Although the moral implication of the attitudes of modern man is daunting, this should not dilute, or block, our search for companions for our journey. It is we who are responsible after all. So, it's foolish to blame others for our failures. The most important of all human qualities is a sense of hope. A sense of hope may take various forms, but the effect is always the same. It's only natural for healthy beings to look forward to something better.

Do you remember the Lilliputians and their neighbors attack each other because they couldn't agree which end to break an egg? Maybe aren't we all living like that? This is one of the chief functions of satire and irony. They enable us to see that many of our actions are comic or absurd. We are always reminded by good mentors that a happy and fulfilling life is not really far removed from ourselves.

The sense of hope must be single out as man's most important quality because it is associated with life itself. There's no future for human beings without hope.

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How to Change your Physiology to be Happy - Tony Robbins motivation

Secrets To Prosperity - Cultivate A Millionaire Mindset

 The secret to prosperity lies in how you have programmed your thoughts. When you cannot control your mind, you will just move further away from cultivating a millionaire mindset. It is the effort that you put in not only today, but in a consistent manner that will reflect your future results.

We tend to send thoughts to the Universe requesting for change and financial freedom, but we do not know how to adequately use our mind power to receive the appropriate positive messages in return.

In order to control your mind power you need to effectively do the following:

1. Control your thoughts and not be distracted by trivialities

2. Change your daily habits from negative to positive, and stick to it.

3. Only talk about positive matters, because you ultimately become what you think.

Observe what you are talking about the whole day and question whether it includes mostly positive things that give you happiness.

To become a prosperous and successful person, you need to observe and learn from successful people. Read their life history, feel like one and behave like one. You must be able to visualize your future and be able to see your future with you to as a successful person.

Can you visualize yourself as a successful businessman and a millionaire in future? Can you make yourself feel like a millionaire? You should be able to see your future and dispel the notion that we are normally fearful of our future. We far too often visualize our future in negative forms rather than that of being a millionaire.

It is being said that a vibration is created, and the wealth energy takes over when you practice visualizing yourself as a millionaire often. The actual process of you becoming a millionaire will then be accelerated. This is based on the fact that your mind attains power through your thought waves, habits, and visualization. It is possible for you to achieve whatever you want through your mind power.

The very best practice will be to control your mind in the present moment without thinking of the future or the past. This mind power can be used to achieve financial freedom and whatever else you want to target. And free yourself from unnecessary negative thoughts. The key is to practice and implement less thoughts and much more action.

Handle your mind correctly

Psychology experts have determined that your mind is actually neutral, and it depends how you use it. It is actually you as a person who cause your mind to react negatively through your unnecessary negative thoughts and negative behaviours. Under most circumstances, your mind can be your best friend, but at times and it can also be your worst enemy. This negative relationship is often caused by stress that not only brings along discomfort but other diseases as well.

You need to control your mind to avoid stress. It is normally said that diseases are caused due to either incorrect food, or a bad environment but the actual fact is that your thought waves control more than what you might think.

Clear your negative thoughts and you will get a big boost on your way to cultivating a millionaire mindset. One of the easiest ways to manage your mind will be to practice meditation and positive affirmations about being a millionaire. When you can manage your mind, it will be easier to go to the next level of prosperity.

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Unique Magic That Can Be Created By Immense Mind Power

Power is a phenomenon that cannot be seen but obviously felt in all aspects of common life. Literarily, power means the ability or strength of doing anything or forcing others to act according to one's will. It is basically poles apart from the definition of the word 'Power' in Physics. Yet there is a common connection between the strength and electrical power, as both can occur lots of visible changes in various fields.

Different categories of power experienced in life

If a person is physically very strong, he/she can be relied as powerful enough to carry on laborious tasks that demand enormous strength. Someone may have political power, which means he/she is able to gain control over other people politically. Monetary power enables people to spend large amounts of money to fulfill their wishes. Rarely, a few people may also possess divine power, with which they may be able to foresee the future of other people and alert them about upcoming dangers. However, mind power is something that is independent of all social and economic circumstances, which depends only on the willpower of a person.

Good and adverse effects of various types of power

All types of power can show both positive and negative effects, based on how that power is utilized. If power is used correctly, it can prove to be a boon for everyone while misuse of power can lead to seriously harmful consequences. It is not at all unethical to be powerful but the question is how that power is utilized. Often it is seen that people abuse their powers and cause a lot of harm to other people. There are numerous instances of abusing physical, political, and economic power that caused massive destruction in society. All the famous wars in history were the result of the misuse of political and military powers of over-ambitious statesmen. People even cause harm to themselves if they lose their minds basking in their powers. Usually, financially rich people feel themselves to be more powerful than all poorer persons, who cannot afford the luxuries in life that they can buy with money. On the other hand, many politically or socially powerful people abuse their powers to collect money unethically and become wealthier in life. Powerless people often suffer from an inferiority complex, due to the absence of any form of power in their life. This mentality can create further problems for them and some even adopt suicidal thoughts! Hence, the unequal distribution of all powers is mostly harmful to mankind, leading to lots of troubles everywhere. Some people feel that they should become powerful by hook or crook, not caring whether their adopted ways to power are lawful or not.

Wonderful benefits of mental power

Mental power or willpower is something that no one can snatch from a person while all other types of power can be lost at some point of time or the other. In many ancient scriptures, different uses of great mind power had been mentioned. Yogis were believed to attain immense mind power, which they used only for the good of mankind. Many religious leaders had preached the importance of mind power and asked common people to learn to train up their minds. There are a number of factors included in mind power, among which self-awareness is the most important one. A person should have a clear vision about the motto of his/her life or in simpler words, what he/she actually wants to achieve in life and whether it is right to nurture that wish. Life always presents numerous problems in the way of a person, which need to be overcome only with the self-confidence and faith. There are solutions to all problems, which can be easily found out only with a calm spirit. The strong willpower of a person can make apparently impossible things to be possible, only through earnest desire and hard work for achieving that goal.

Personally, I do not possess that high level of mind power yet, but I am working hard in improving my willpower and other mental strengths. Mindpower is not the same as the cognitive power that is a physical matter and may decrease at a ripe age. Hence, I believe that I can achieve the required mind power by following the instructions rendered by great personalities. Self-consciousness and self-control of mind are the pillars of mind power. So it is possible to attain this power only through regular discipline, as an undisciplined person cannot gain control over his/her own mind. The achievements of all other powers become easier by gaining mind power.

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IT'S POSSIBLE (Les Brown's Greatest Hits)

Change your mindset, change the game

Finding Motivation - How to Find What Motivates You

Ever notice what motivates you? Motivation could come from many of your activities which you didn't give much thought before. In fact, it could be the answer to your limitless abundance, saying goodbye to money-related problems. This article will help you trace it and achieve it. Read on.

The source of your motivation will be ingrained in you. You jump up at the thought of it and can't wait to start it. You can't stop when you are doing it and when you are done with it, you can't help admiring it, feeling a deep sense of content and satisfaction.

Motivation could be about writing fiction/nonfiction books, music - singing and/or playing a musical instrument, painting portraits and/or natural sceneries, teaching, educating others and sharing your knowledge, playing a sport you like such as soccer, tennis or swimming, cooking a variety of dishes and compiling their recipes, and the list goes on.

Guess what earning money by doing what motivates you is a plus. You will not think of it as work and will always feel inspired to do it and enjoy your time doing it and at the end, earn good money from it.

You could even do a seminar/webinar about it reaching out to more people, helping others to find what inspires them and monetize it, earning a living as well.

You could passionately write books on them, reaching out across the globe not only gaining popularity but also helping the young and old alike to find out what it is they love to do and the steps they should carry out to make it the source of their living.

Imagine what would happen if each and every person on this earth were doing what they were excited about and also earning money from it - naturally the global economy would rise and no one had to leave jobs or get laid off unless because of other circumstantial problems, which could be worked out as well.

Doing the very stuff you love to do and also making a living from it will gradually help you to tap into limitless abundance and prosperity, and you will never have to worry about money problems again.

So the next time, when you are thinking about a career or business, put your creative mind at play, try to figure out what makes you jump up at the thought of doing something, then start doing it and step-by-step monetize it as well so that you never have to work another day again. Sounds good?

Rosina S Khan has authored this article. For a wealth of free resources based on stunning fiction stories and academic guides, amazing self-help eBooks, articles and blogs, all authored by her, and much more, visit: https://rosinaskhan.weebly.com. You will be glad that you did.

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Repetition Compulsion: Why Do We Repeat The Past?

Although someone may realise that they are experiencing the same scenarios over and over again, there is also the chance that they won't. If they are, it could seem strange as to why this keeps happening.

What they may conclude, after reflecting on what is taking place, is that they have no control over their life. Someone or something 'out there' could be seen as being in control.

The Same Old Story

When it comes to what continually takes place, someone could find that they keep ending up with the same type of person. This could be someone who is abusive or emotionally unavailable, for instance.

They may find that this has taken place for as long as they can remember; it may even seem as though their life will always be this way. If they feel hopeless, it could be said that it won't be much of a surprise.

Another Experience

If, on the other hand, someone is not aware of the fact that they keep experiencing the same scenarios over and over again, it will be just as frustrating. The difference is that they won't have taken a step back and reflected on what is taking place.

What this may illustrate is that they are an 'emotional' person, which has prevented them from seeing the big picture. Through being focused on the trees, it won't have allowed them to see the forest, so to speak.

A Mystery

In both of these cases, someone won't understand why their life is the way that it is. However, while it may seem as though they are not playing a part in what is going on, this is unlikely to be the case.

But, for them to understand what is going on, it is likely that they will need to take a deeper look within themselves. For the answers that they seek are likely to be found in their body, not their mind.

Connecting the Dots

If they were able to remember what took place during their early years, what they may find is that their adult life is very similar; similar when it comes to what their relationships are like, and perhaps, many other areas, too. Therefore, many, many years will have passed, but there will be a lot that hasn't have changed.

At this point, it would be clear that time alone is not enough to heal what happened; something else needs to take place in order to liberate them from the past. Nonetheless, why would they repeat what happened if it not serving them?

A Deeper Look

Undoubtedly, they would have suffered all those years ago and they will continue to suffer to this day. On the surface, it can seem as if they are a victim and that they are not playing a part in what is going on.

To understand why they would repeat something that is not benefiting them, it will be necessary to take a look at a defence mechanism known as 'repetition compulsion'. When this defence is being utilized, someone will end up recreating something that had a big effect on them.

The Reason

Like all defence mechanisms, this will be in place to stop them from experiencing pain. This can be hard to accept, considering that this defence is not stopping them from endlessly experiencing the same painful scenarios.

They are still experiencing pain, this is true; nevertheless, the pain that they experience is likely to be less severe than the pain that exists at a deeper level. Thus, if they were to accept that what took place is over and that their developmental needs are not going to be met, they would probably experience even more pain.

Another Part

Additionally, what took place will have been painful but it will also be classed as what is familiar to their ego-mind. And, to this part of them, what is familiar is what is classed as what is safe.

This part of them doesn't care if something is healthy or unhealthy; it only cares about if it is familiar. For their life to change, then, there are at least two things that will need to take place.

Diving In

The pain that they are avoiding, by playing out the same scenarios, will need to be faced. If this pain is not acknowledged and worked through, they will be compelled to experience life in the same way.

By doing this, what their ego-mind associates as what is safe will gradually begin to change. Naturally, if they have a lot of pain/trauma locked inside their body, this is not going to happen overnight.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Through having external support, one will be able to go where they wouldn't go by themselves. This person will hold the space until they are able to hold the space for themselves.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, four hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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